Dear Grandma,
Happy birthday to you! I was trying to figure out this morning how many Birthdays you have spent in heaven and it's already too many. But I know you probably have much better birthdays up there than you ever had down here. I wish this birthday wish was being recieved through the mail, but, I have to remind myself that birthdays are probably not what they used to be and you're finally in a place where you can spend it with everyone you wanted to and you don't have to miss anyone. Stop through Omaha sometime today if you get a minute and find a way to let me know you're here. I'll be thinking of you all day today and looking for you everywhere.
Omaha has been a very very very busy place. We've got a lot to celebrate right now out side of the usual. The piles of presents under our tree indicates that Christmas is right around the corner. We're looking foward to heading to South Dakota next Thursday to spend the holiday in Parkston. I don't forget very easily that this time last year I was facing a hospital stay and an unexpected surgery. I am certainly counting my blessings this year. Who would have known that the guy that spent three days with me in the hospital and called a family he didn't know to update them would be my fiance a year later.
Speaking of him, he got some great news too! The days of being on a train through the night for days on end - sometimes trying to avoid danger - are coming to an end. He was approached about a considering applying for a management program - something he had planned on doing at some point down the road. We took this as a sign and he applied, went through the grueling interview process and recieved a phone call earlier this week that included a job offer. We're not sure where this job will take us, but we do know that starting January 10th, Casey will be undergoing 10 weeks of management training - the first step in this incredible promotion.
Even though it's Friday and my Grandma's birthday, I suppose it's time for me to get back to work. I look foward to hearing from you later today, enjoy your day. =) (Beat Grandpa at Phase 10...don't let him hide cards under tha table.)
Love you,
Miss you everyday
Kristen
Friday, December 17, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Dear Grandma,
I wish you could be here to enjoy this beautiful weather....I try to take it in everyday because although fall is my favorite season it's also the one that is over the quickest. There's nothing I'd rather be doing than sitting next to the open patio door while the neighbor mows his lawn and Casey fights with his accounting homework.
It's hard to believe you've been gone for over a year now. What's harder to believe is all the fighting that continues to go own. I wish I could tell you that the day you left us everyone came together and got over all the petty things and became the family you had always wanted them to be - but I can't. Since it isn't my place to say anything to them I need to talk to you. I'm happy to tell you that I have formed some great relationships with cousins and have come to appreciate the relationship I have with my own brother even more...I understand that not everyone is that lucky. I just wish they would all step back and take a look at how silly this has all become. It's a lot of he said/she said and taking sides when I really don't think the answer is that hard to find. A response to an email, a phone call - even a full blown screaming fight might be all that it would take - but nothing good will come of this until somebody steps foward. It's a fight about the stuff...but I don't think the "stuff" has anything to do with it. Now especially, since I am finally looking foward to the day in my life that I thought might never happen - the day I marry the man you helped me find - I would love to have something of yours I could wear - or even carry to remember you. But, I know you'll be there. And I don't think a Bert and Ernie puzzle has any place in a wedding. It's not worth the fight to me. I'd love something more, but even the puzzle reminds me of the night I threw a fit because I had so much fun putting all 6 pieces in that puzzle, and then I remember the look on your face as you loaded it into a plastic sack for me to take home with me. The point is - it's not about the stuff. It's about the fact that not one of your kids misses you more than another. Not one of your kids deserves more than another. And each and every one of them should be able to sit in a room together and act like adults and make decisions with everyone's thoughts and feelings in mind. None of them are free of fault and I wish they could see that nobody is going to win because holding grudges, and refusing explainations, pointing fingers and trying to come out as being the one who is "right" is not going to get them to you any sooner. I said it before and I'll say it again, I would love to have something of yours. So that everyday when I miss you because I walked into a room that smelled like you, or helped a cancer patient at work, I'd have something to remember you by. But what's more important to me is that I knew the day you died that you were proud of me, I knew the day I met Casey that it was because of you and I know if I could refrain from swearing in traffic I'd be deserving of banana bread.
I want your kids to have a relatinship like my brother and I have - but I know that's unlikely. But it's not out of reach for them to find a way to respect each other. I'm sure heaven and Grandpa keep you busy with cards and spaghetti-o trees...but maybe you could send down a nudge ... for someone to make a phone call or send a letter that might begin some kind of trend of respect or understanding - or for them to talk and for them to listen. So that once and for all, this can be put behind everyone.
I love you...
Kristen
I wish you could be here to enjoy this beautiful weather....I try to take it in everyday because although fall is my favorite season it's also the one that is over the quickest. There's nothing I'd rather be doing than sitting next to the open patio door while the neighbor mows his lawn and Casey fights with his accounting homework.
It's hard to believe you've been gone for over a year now. What's harder to believe is all the fighting that continues to go own. I wish I could tell you that the day you left us everyone came together and got over all the petty things and became the family you had always wanted them to be - but I can't. Since it isn't my place to say anything to them I need to talk to you. I'm happy to tell you that I have formed some great relationships with cousins and have come to appreciate the relationship I have with my own brother even more...I understand that not everyone is that lucky. I just wish they would all step back and take a look at how silly this has all become. It's a lot of he said/she said and taking sides when I really don't think the answer is that hard to find. A response to an email, a phone call - even a full blown screaming fight might be all that it would take - but nothing good will come of this until somebody steps foward. It's a fight about the stuff...but I don't think the "stuff" has anything to do with it. Now especially, since I am finally looking foward to the day in my life that I thought might never happen - the day I marry the man you helped me find - I would love to have something of yours I could wear - or even carry to remember you. But, I know you'll be there. And I don't think a Bert and Ernie puzzle has any place in a wedding. It's not worth the fight to me. I'd love something more, but even the puzzle reminds me of the night I threw a fit because I had so much fun putting all 6 pieces in that puzzle, and then I remember the look on your face as you loaded it into a plastic sack for me to take home with me. The point is - it's not about the stuff. It's about the fact that not one of your kids misses you more than another. Not one of your kids deserves more than another. And each and every one of them should be able to sit in a room together and act like adults and make decisions with everyone's thoughts and feelings in mind. None of them are free of fault and I wish they could see that nobody is going to win because holding grudges, and refusing explainations, pointing fingers and trying to come out as being the one who is "right" is not going to get them to you any sooner. I said it before and I'll say it again, I would love to have something of yours. So that everyday when I miss you because I walked into a room that smelled like you, or helped a cancer patient at work, I'd have something to remember you by. But what's more important to me is that I knew the day you died that you were proud of me, I knew the day I met Casey that it was because of you and I know if I could refrain from swearing in traffic I'd be deserving of banana bread.
I want your kids to have a relatinship like my brother and I have - but I know that's unlikely. But it's not out of reach for them to find a way to respect each other. I'm sure heaven and Grandpa keep you busy with cards and spaghetti-o trees...but maybe you could send down a nudge ... for someone to make a phone call or send a letter that might begin some kind of trend of respect or understanding - or for them to talk and for them to listen. So that once and for all, this can be put behind everyone.
I love you...
Kristen
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Dear Grandma,
I thought I would make good use of my time at work, now that we staff on the weekends. No matter how unneccessary it is, if it will save Alegent a penny, it's worth it to them to take up our time with families even more than the pager did. Am I happy to have a job? Yes. Am I bitter that I work for a faith based hospital that cares about nothing but money? Absolutely.
For the most part, it has been a good weekend. Friday night Casey and I bit hard on the fact that we have become boring adults when we found ourselves on the couch watching back to back episodes of House Hunters on HGTV. I'm not even ashamed to say that most nights I would rather come home and jump in sweats than go out somewhere. We did go out for supper though - and by "go out" I mean went through the drive through, and by "supper" I mean...Taco Bell. But whatever, we were both home and together, so it was just perfect. Saturday we tried to get some things done in the morning as we knew Casey would be called to the tracks. Around 4 we headed to Bekka and Brian's to see Baby Henry and say hello to The Renshaws and Sarah who had driven down for the day. It was a nice mellow afternoon followed by a meal (compliments of Chef Brian) so delicious I should have worn sweatpants.
I had a hard time sleeping last night, so 630 came far too early. Hopefully I'll get a chance to enjoy the beautiful weather once I'm off work, there's no saying the snow won't fall next week! Oh well...let's get to it, the closer we are to getting through another season, the closer we are to October 2011. =)
Love you,
Kristen
I thought I would make good use of my time at work, now that we staff on the weekends. No matter how unneccessary it is, if it will save Alegent a penny, it's worth it to them to take up our time with families even more than the pager did. Am I happy to have a job? Yes. Am I bitter that I work for a faith based hospital that cares about nothing but money? Absolutely.
For the most part, it has been a good weekend. Friday night Casey and I bit hard on the fact that we have become boring adults when we found ourselves on the couch watching back to back episodes of House Hunters on HGTV. I'm not even ashamed to say that most nights I would rather come home and jump in sweats than go out somewhere. We did go out for supper though - and by "go out" I mean went through the drive through, and by "supper" I mean...Taco Bell. But whatever, we were both home and together, so it was just perfect. Saturday we tried to get some things done in the morning as we knew Casey would be called to the tracks. Around 4 we headed to Bekka and Brian's to see Baby Henry and say hello to The Renshaws and Sarah who had driven down for the day. It was a nice mellow afternoon followed by a meal (compliments of Chef Brian) so delicious I should have worn sweatpants.
I had a hard time sleeping last night, so 630 came far too early. Hopefully I'll get a chance to enjoy the beautiful weather once I'm off work, there's no saying the snow won't fall next week! Oh well...let's get to it, the closer we are to getting through another season, the closer we are to October 2011. =)
Love you,
Kristen
Monday, September 27, 2010
Dear Grandma,
I can't believe it's been so long since I've written. The summer has been one of the busiest to date and although it's kind of a relief to see it winding down, I know that means it's only a matter of time before we're shoveling snow and scraping windows. Last winter was a difficult one, earth shattering snow storms every 7 days, kidney stones and stents, missing Christmas to be on call and recover from kidney stones and stents. ... it was also one of the greatest winters of my life. I learned quickly that a guy - who will drive across the city to shovel waist deep snow at 3 am after spending the whole night on a train, and one the spends days in a hospital calling updates to a family he had yet to meet - was definitely a keeper. In a years time I went from being a girl who was happy being single to meeting someone who changed my life so much that I can't imagine my a day without him. So, if you must, bring on the winter...maybe it won't be so bad afterall.
Now that fall has arrived, we've been spending a lot of time in sweatshirts, watching Husker football and making plans for a wedding that will be exactly one year away this weekend. It seems so far away to me yet, but even the few months that have passed since we've been engaged have gone so fast! We're both very excited for the weekend, our parents and most of my bridesmaids (including one very awesome maid of honor and sister in law, Tonya) are coming to Omaha. Saturday will be full of wedding dress shopping for the girls - and well - boy stuff for the boys. I'm excited for everyone to meet and for the wedding to become more real - but also very overwhelmed, too. Either way, I just know it will be a great weekend.
My mom and I went to "Women of Faith" with another mom and daughter about a couple months ago in Omaha. It was awesome. Thanks for giving me the nudge to sponsor little miss Telma. I know you still get these letters, but it's great to sit down with a pen and paper again, hopefully she'll enjoy having a penpal as much as I always have. ...hopefully I can make some kind of difference in her life, if even just a small one.
I miss you. I hope you have a minute this Saturday to stop in while we're hunting for the most important dress I'll ever have in my life. It's a day I want all the most important women in my life to spend with me, see if Grandpa will let you get away for a few hours (or just sneak out during his nap). =)
Love you,
Krsiten
I can't believe it's been so long since I've written. The summer has been one of the busiest to date and although it's kind of a relief to see it winding down, I know that means it's only a matter of time before we're shoveling snow and scraping windows. Last winter was a difficult one, earth shattering snow storms every 7 days, kidney stones and stents, missing Christmas to be on call and recover from kidney stones and stents. ... it was also one of the greatest winters of my life. I learned quickly that a guy - who will drive across the city to shovel waist deep snow at 3 am after spending the whole night on a train, and one the spends days in a hospital calling updates to a family he had yet to meet - was definitely a keeper. In a years time I went from being a girl who was happy being single to meeting someone who changed my life so much that I can't imagine my a day without him. So, if you must, bring on the winter...maybe it won't be so bad afterall.
Now that fall has arrived, we've been spending a lot of time in sweatshirts, watching Husker football and making plans for a wedding that will be exactly one year away this weekend. It seems so far away to me yet, but even the few months that have passed since we've been engaged have gone so fast! We're both very excited for the weekend, our parents and most of my bridesmaids (including one very awesome maid of honor and sister in law, Tonya) are coming to Omaha. Saturday will be full of wedding dress shopping for the girls - and well - boy stuff for the boys. I'm excited for everyone to meet and for the wedding to become more real - but also very overwhelmed, too. Either way, I just know it will be a great weekend.
My mom and I went to "Women of Faith" with another mom and daughter about a couple months ago in Omaha. It was awesome. Thanks for giving me the nudge to sponsor little miss Telma. I know you still get these letters, but it's great to sit down with a pen and paper again, hopefully she'll enjoy having a penpal as much as I always have. ...hopefully I can make some kind of difference in her life, if even just a small one.
I miss you. I hope you have a minute this Saturday to stop in while we're hunting for the most important dress I'll ever have in my life. It's a day I want all the most important women in my life to spend with me, see if Grandpa will let you get away for a few hours (or just sneak out during his nap). =)
Love you,
Krsiten
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Dear Grandma,
Time seems to get away from me this summer, it's been one of the busiest few months I can remember this far! Since I talked to you last, a lot has happened. Of course the biggest, most exciting of these things you already know, as I'm completely certain you had a hand in it. But on a humid Saturday in Illinios Casey gave me a ring and I gave him my word...and I've never been more certain of an answer or more thankful for the happiness that lies ahead.
We have reserved October 1, 2011 the day we document our promise and the day I change my last name - the day we've reserved to be the best day of our lives. I dream of it often, but I'm sure no dream will ever compare to how wonderful everything turns out to be. I pray everything comes together and we are surrounded by all the people that mean so much to us, and I have faith that it will. Thank you Grandma, you couldn't have picked someone more perfect for me. I just hope I can live up to the expectations that go along with the name "wife",but I have watched a lot of great examples so I pray it comes naturally because he deserves the very best. Like I said in the letter I wrote you over a year ago, I hope you'll be there, and I hope you DO have the best seat in the house. I wasn't sure this day would ever come, and it's hard to imagine you wouldn't be there. So, please, be there, every step of the way.
This past weekend took Casey and I back to a place we spend some of the early days of our relationship. .. the ER. My kidneys had a tanrtum yet again and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't hand the pain. I've spend nearly a week trying to recover - again. This morning was different. I was tired of going to bed praying that tomorrow would be better, so when I woke up I made certain it would be. I got myself on my feet no matter how unsteady I felt and kept myself there. I feel much better and hope I continue to feel better.
A busy summer is no excuse for me not to write every week as I'd like to, but know I think of you more often than I could ever explain on paper. I love you.
Love, Kristen
Time seems to get away from me this summer, it's been one of the busiest few months I can remember this far! Since I talked to you last, a lot has happened. Of course the biggest, most exciting of these things you already know, as I'm completely certain you had a hand in it. But on a humid Saturday in Illinios Casey gave me a ring and I gave him my word...and I've never been more certain of an answer or more thankful for the happiness that lies ahead.
We have reserved October 1, 2011 the day we document our promise and the day I change my last name - the day we've reserved to be the best day of our lives. I dream of it often, but I'm sure no dream will ever compare to how wonderful everything turns out to be. I pray everything comes together and we are surrounded by all the people that mean so much to us, and I have faith that it will. Thank you Grandma, you couldn't have picked someone more perfect for me. I just hope I can live up to the expectations that go along with the name "wife",but I have watched a lot of great examples so I pray it comes naturally because he deserves the very best. Like I said in the letter I wrote you over a year ago, I hope you'll be there, and I hope you DO have the best seat in the house. I wasn't sure this day would ever come, and it's hard to imagine you wouldn't be there. So, please, be there, every step of the way.
This past weekend took Casey and I back to a place we spend some of the early days of our relationship. .. the ER. My kidneys had a tanrtum yet again and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't hand the pain. I've spend nearly a week trying to recover - again. This morning was different. I was tired of going to bed praying that tomorrow would be better, so when I woke up I made certain it would be. I got myself on my feet no matter how unsteady I felt and kept myself there. I feel much better and hope I continue to feel better.
A busy summer is no excuse for me not to write every week as I'd like to, but know I think of you more often than I could ever explain on paper. I love you.
Love, Kristen
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Dear Grandma,
I can't believe it's been a month since I've written...it's hard to believe the 4th of July has passed and the summer is already on the downhill. This has probably been one of my busiest summers and it's hard to even rememeber what I've been up to. I remember facing June knowing that it was going to be exhausting, it was, and it's already over! I just finished 8 days of call and am looking forward to having the next couple weeks off.
Life continues to present with new direction. My roomate Abby, who is getting married in September, was finally able to find a job in South Dakota (which is quite the feat in the ultrasound world) and will be moving out the end of the week. So, after nearly 4 years living in the very same duplex on Franklin St. I, too, will be moving out and moving on. But we aren't walking away without a farewell, this weekend we're having a going away party for Abby as well as a "farewell to Franklin St." My old roomates Jess, Justin and Korynn are all coming and we're going to spend one last night in the place so we've all called home for so long. It's bittersweet; I've loved living there and it's been good to me, but like everything else, there is a time to move on and that time has come.
We're anxiously awaiting a trip to Illinois in two weeks to visit Jason, Tina, and Hannah. Tom and Pat are meeting us there and Tom has warned that he has a list of questions for Casey. Hopefully he is up to the challenge, but I don't have any doubts. It will be good for both of us to have a weekend out of Omaha. He finally has his normal job back which has meant he has been working lots of long trips, middle of the nights and weekends. Between my call and his late train trips, we should be keeping Dunkin Doughnuts coffee in business.
We've had two kinds of weather this summer in Omaha. Stale, nasty, "change your clothes in the middle of the afternoon" heat and humidity - or - rain. I like a rainy day here and then but we haven't been offered much variety. It either rains for a week straight or smokes us out for a week straight. It's certainly annoying but at least it doesn't require me to have to schovel the driveway.
As I have been organizing to move, I have found NUMEROUS cards and notes in your perftectly impossible handwriting. I'm not the type to have shoe boxes full of cards and letters with the exception of some that hold meaning, but I couldn't bear to part with one of these hardcopies of your penmanship. So, I tucked them in the folder of cards you had saved for me and put them safely in my curio cabinet where they will likely remain until the next time I move. ...at which point I will probably repeat this whole scenario.
Miss you still, everyday.
Love,
Kristen
I can't believe it's been a month since I've written...it's hard to believe the 4th of July has passed and the summer is already on the downhill. This has probably been one of my busiest summers and it's hard to even rememeber what I've been up to. I remember facing June knowing that it was going to be exhausting, it was, and it's already over! I just finished 8 days of call and am looking forward to having the next couple weeks off.
Life continues to present with new direction. My roomate Abby, who is getting married in September, was finally able to find a job in South Dakota (which is quite the feat in the ultrasound world) and will be moving out the end of the week. So, after nearly 4 years living in the very same duplex on Franklin St. I, too, will be moving out and moving on. But we aren't walking away without a farewell, this weekend we're having a going away party for Abby as well as a "farewell to Franklin St." My old roomates Jess, Justin and Korynn are all coming and we're going to spend one last night in the place so we've all called home for so long. It's bittersweet; I've loved living there and it's been good to me, but like everything else, there is a time to move on and that time has come.
We're anxiously awaiting a trip to Illinois in two weeks to visit Jason, Tina, and Hannah. Tom and Pat are meeting us there and Tom has warned that he has a list of questions for Casey. Hopefully he is up to the challenge, but I don't have any doubts. It will be good for both of us to have a weekend out of Omaha. He finally has his normal job back which has meant he has been working lots of long trips, middle of the nights and weekends. Between my call and his late train trips, we should be keeping Dunkin Doughnuts coffee in business.
We've had two kinds of weather this summer in Omaha. Stale, nasty, "change your clothes in the middle of the afternoon" heat and humidity - or - rain. I like a rainy day here and then but we haven't been offered much variety. It either rains for a week straight or smokes us out for a week straight. It's certainly annoying but at least it doesn't require me to have to schovel the driveway.
As I have been organizing to move, I have found NUMEROUS cards and notes in your perftectly impossible handwriting. I'm not the type to have shoe boxes full of cards and letters with the exception of some that hold meaning, but I couldn't bear to part with one of these hardcopies of your penmanship. So, I tucked them in the folder of cards you had saved for me and put them safely in my curio cabinet where they will likely remain until the next time I move. ...at which point I will probably repeat this whole scenario.
Miss you still, everyday.
Love,
Kristen
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Dear Grandma,
It's been so long since I have written but with as busy as the summer has already kept me - it's no surprise, really. Nonetheless, I'm sorry. Today I'm sitting at the Office and I'm hoping today remains as mellow as the morning has been. The last two Tuesdays I have been over here and ran my little caboose off the whole day. .
Casey and I made it to Florida back and if it weren't for the heat, I probably would have stayed there forever! From the second our feet hit the ground in Orlando until the minute we were climbing in the airplane to come home, we were busy. I met Minnie Mouse, went to a baseball game, the beach, the shopping centers...we were very busy! My favorite part of the whole trip was the night we spent walking the streets of Universal Studios. All in all, the vacation couldn't have been better and I was happy to meet another member of Casey's family!
Today I am back to work from the mini vacation mom and I took to the Hills. The BLACK hills, of course, not Hollywood. When I ran the marathon, mom and I promised we would hike Crazy Horse monument in the Volks March. We did it, and my instincts tell me we'll do it again! It was a lot of fun! We headed back to Parkston on Sunday with heavy eyes and a case of wine from Prairie berry. But, all the sleepiness in the world couldn't have kept me from my first motorcycle ride of the season, especially on the new bike! It was a nice evening, so dad and I decided we were finally ready to head to Armour and check out your house...boy has it changed. Dad told me it's a couple and a brand new little baby, and somehow, that makes me feel better. I just hope they are able to find all the Easter egg hiding places. I also hope that pantry keeps all our secrets and has a full stock of Spaghettio O's. I have faith it will.
I'm back in Omaha now and am gearing up for the week of call I am facing. Like I always do when I am carrying my pager, I am looking forward to next Monday morning when it has ended. Next weekend I head to Vegas for Becky Murtha's bachelorette party, and then, hopefully, I will have a couple weeks free from plans. June will be over before we know it.
I will be better about finding time to write, I'm hoping things will settle down for awhile. I miss you.
Love you,
Kristen
It's been so long since I have written but with as busy as the summer has already kept me - it's no surprise, really. Nonetheless, I'm sorry. Today I'm sitting at the Office and I'm hoping today remains as mellow as the morning has been. The last two Tuesdays I have been over here and ran my little caboose off the whole day. .
Casey and I made it to Florida back and if it weren't for the heat, I probably would have stayed there forever! From the second our feet hit the ground in Orlando until the minute we were climbing in the airplane to come home, we were busy. I met Minnie Mouse, went to a baseball game, the beach, the shopping centers...we were very busy! My favorite part of the whole trip was the night we spent walking the streets of Universal Studios. All in all, the vacation couldn't have been better and I was happy to meet another member of Casey's family!
Today I am back to work from the mini vacation mom and I took to the Hills. The BLACK hills, of course, not Hollywood. When I ran the marathon, mom and I promised we would hike Crazy Horse monument in the Volks March. We did it, and my instincts tell me we'll do it again! It was a lot of fun! We headed back to Parkston on Sunday with heavy eyes and a case of wine from Prairie berry. But, all the sleepiness in the world couldn't have kept me from my first motorcycle ride of the season, especially on the new bike! It was a nice evening, so dad and I decided we were finally ready to head to Armour and check out your house...boy has it changed. Dad told me it's a couple and a brand new little baby, and somehow, that makes me feel better. I just hope they are able to find all the Easter egg hiding places. I also hope that pantry keeps all our secrets and has a full stock of Spaghettio O's. I have faith it will.
I'm back in Omaha now and am gearing up for the week of call I am facing. Like I always do when I am carrying my pager, I am looking forward to next Monday morning when it has ended. Next weekend I head to Vegas for Becky Murtha's bachelorette party, and then, hopefully, I will have a couple weeks free from plans. June will be over before we know it.
I will be better about finding time to write, I'm hoping things will settle down for awhile. I miss you.
Love you,
Kristen
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Dear Grandma,
I did it. 26.2 miles on foot. 4 hours 33 minutes and 28 seconds. Running all the while. It's an expericene I will never forget, one I will hold as a very proud moment forever, but also one I never plan to experience again. Don't get me wrong, it was a lot of fun and something I felt so proud to be a part of. 8 thousand people gathered to run, only 1300 of whom finished the full marathon. .. and I was one of those rare people. Although I prepared for 15 weeks for this day, there are definitely some factors that made it possible to complete. I didn't realize how important my family would be, it was my driving force to keep me going. As soon as I ran past them and their cheers faded away I would make a mental note of how far I would have to run before I would see them again. Every 2-3 miles we were given a break with water, ice or gatorade...or all three once I had gotten through 21 miles. And lastly, the NUMEROUS people over the age of 60 who were still making their way to the halway point as we were tackling our last six miles. I cheered on one man who told us he was 83 years old and was completing his 70th marathon. Even though the last 6 miles were a struggle I will never be able to explain, but people like this man gave me the encouragement to keep pushing forward.
Casey was the biggest help this weekend. My roomates were both having company, so he opened his house to my whole family. He made sure everyone got where they needed to be on time. He even helped my friend Blair so that she and her two little girls could come along, too. At the six mile point, he was running right beside me with a bag full of towels, back up music, and electrolytes. He knew how important this race was, how hard I had worked for it, and he was going to do whatever he could to make sure I made it to that 50 yard line. And. I. Did.
My vow to "never run another marathon" is already beginning to subside. It's amazing how quickly you forget the pain and remember only how fun it was or the way an accomplishment like this feels. I'll continue to run short races and half marathons for sure...they're just another day now, but if the day ever does come that I brave the "big one" again, it will likely be years down the road.
Miss Hannah turns two this weekend. My family is headed that way and although I want nothing more than to be there I am not able to get out of work on Friday and they are leaving Thursday. Once again, the real world gets in the way. You wouldn't believe the little character she has become. She definitely has figured out what it takes to melt the hearts of everyone and I would literally do anything for her.
Thank you for helping me live a dream ... for getting me through that finish line. It was so much more than making my legs move for 26.2 miles. It was keeping my head in the right place for 4 and a half hours. .. and for making me believe in myself to do something I never thought I was capable of doing, and now, I feel like I could fly!
I love you,
Kristen
I did it. 26.2 miles on foot. 4 hours 33 minutes and 28 seconds. Running all the while. It's an expericene I will never forget, one I will hold as a very proud moment forever, but also one I never plan to experience again. Don't get me wrong, it was a lot of fun and something I felt so proud to be a part of. 8 thousand people gathered to run, only 1300 of whom finished the full marathon. .. and I was one of those rare people. Although I prepared for 15 weeks for this day, there are definitely some factors that made it possible to complete. I didn't realize how important my family would be, it was my driving force to keep me going. As soon as I ran past them and their cheers faded away I would make a mental note of how far I would have to run before I would see them again. Every 2-3 miles we were given a break with water, ice or gatorade...or all three once I had gotten through 21 miles. And lastly, the NUMEROUS people over the age of 60 who were still making their way to the halway point as we were tackling our last six miles. I cheered on one man who told us he was 83 years old and was completing his 70th marathon. Even though the last 6 miles were a struggle I will never be able to explain, but people like this man gave me the encouragement to keep pushing forward.
Casey was the biggest help this weekend. My roomates were both having company, so he opened his house to my whole family. He made sure everyone got where they needed to be on time. He even helped my friend Blair so that she and her two little girls could come along, too. At the six mile point, he was running right beside me with a bag full of towels, back up music, and electrolytes. He knew how important this race was, how hard I had worked for it, and he was going to do whatever he could to make sure I made it to that 50 yard line. And. I. Did.
My vow to "never run another marathon" is already beginning to subside. It's amazing how quickly you forget the pain and remember only how fun it was or the way an accomplishment like this feels. I'll continue to run short races and half marathons for sure...they're just another day now, but if the day ever does come that I brave the "big one" again, it will likely be years down the road.
Miss Hannah turns two this weekend. My family is headed that way and although I want nothing more than to be there I am not able to get out of work on Friday and they are leaving Thursday. Once again, the real world gets in the way. You wouldn't believe the little character she has become. She definitely has figured out what it takes to melt the hearts of everyone and I would literally do anything for her.
Thank you for helping me live a dream ... for getting me through that finish line. It was so much more than making my legs move for 26.2 miles. It was keeping my head in the right place for 4 and a half hours. .. and for making me believe in myself to do something I never thought I was capable of doing, and now, I feel like I could fly!
I love you,
Kristen
Friday, April 30, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Dear Grandma,
Ready or not, I'm 4 days away from probably one of the greatest physical struggles I will ever voluntarily undergo. I can only hope that I've done everything I can to prepare for this - but the anxiety I feel is much like that I felt when I was preparing for boards. I've done all I can do - now all that's left is to dive in and hope the outcome is what I've dreamed it would be. Last week was filled with nothing but fear. This week, the thought of all my supporters has brought me excitement. But then, I thnk about being at about the point in the race when the half marthon runners split - when they seperate the sane from the insane - and everything in my belly drops to my feet. Not literally - well, yet. You've gotten me through a lot of long runs while I've been training, but this race is ten miles more than I've ever done. So please, please Grandma, don't give up on me now!
I'm looking foward to all the Pape's coming this weekend. Since my roomate and her fiance are running the half marathon (they have their head on a little straighter than I do) and my other roomate will have company as well, we're all going to stay with Casey in his new house for the weekend. It was his idea, so, I hope he knows what he's getting himself into. =) I don't see my family as much as I used to, and definitely not as often as I'd like to, so knowing we're all going to be under one roof is a big relief. Miss Hannah's 2nd birthday is coming up, and since I'm not sure that I'll be able to make it there because of work, we're going to do some mini celebrating for her. My friend Blair has a little girl who is a month older than Hannah, we're hoping they can have a lot of fun together. But they're both 2 - so we'll see.
This month is going to be a busy one. Once I get through this weekend I have a pretty big stretch of call and then at the end of the month, Casey and I are going to Florida to visit his sister. I've never been to Florida, so I'm definitely looking foward to just having the chance to travel there. I'm mostly looking foward to getting on an airplane and leaving Nebraska for a few days to do somewhere and spend some time on a beach.
We've been having some pretty nice weather here with the exception of a few chilly, windy, rainy days. I hope you're getting that out of your system so that Sunday we have clear skies and a nice (but fairly still) breeze. Please Grandma, I need all the help I can get!
I love you,
Kristen
Ready or not, I'm 4 days away from probably one of the greatest physical struggles I will ever voluntarily undergo. I can only hope that I've done everything I can to prepare for this - but the anxiety I feel is much like that I felt when I was preparing for boards. I've done all I can do - now all that's left is to dive in and hope the outcome is what I've dreamed it would be. Last week was filled with nothing but fear. This week, the thought of all my supporters has brought me excitement. But then, I thnk about being at about the point in the race when the half marthon runners split - when they seperate the sane from the insane - and everything in my belly drops to my feet. Not literally - well, yet. You've gotten me through a lot of long runs while I've been training, but this race is ten miles more than I've ever done. So please, please Grandma, don't give up on me now!
I'm looking foward to all the Pape's coming this weekend. Since my roomate and her fiance are running the half marathon (they have their head on a little straighter than I do) and my other roomate will have company as well, we're all going to stay with Casey in his new house for the weekend. It was his idea, so, I hope he knows what he's getting himself into. =) I don't see my family as much as I used to, and definitely not as often as I'd like to, so knowing we're all going to be under one roof is a big relief. Miss Hannah's 2nd birthday is coming up, and since I'm not sure that I'll be able to make it there because of work, we're going to do some mini celebrating for her. My friend Blair has a little girl who is a month older than Hannah, we're hoping they can have a lot of fun together. But they're both 2 - so we'll see.
This month is going to be a busy one. Once I get through this weekend I have a pretty big stretch of call and then at the end of the month, Casey and I are going to Florida to visit his sister. I've never been to Florida, so I'm definitely looking foward to just having the chance to travel there. I'm mostly looking foward to getting on an airplane and leaving Nebraska for a few days to do somewhere and spend some time on a beach.
We've been having some pretty nice weather here with the exception of a few chilly, windy, rainy days. I hope you're getting that out of your system so that Sunday we have clear skies and a nice (but fairly still) breeze. Please Grandma, I need all the help I can get!
I love you,
Kristen
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Dear Grandma,
In the mail last night from Mary I got an article that the girls had put in the paper about you. It was the poem you kept in your wallet:
And the mother said, "I have reached the end of my journey and now I know the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk alone, and their children after them."
And the children said "You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates."
And they stood and watched her as she walked on alone, and the gates closed after her. And they said, "We cannot see her, but she is with us still. A mother like ours is more than a memory; she is a living presence."
...And so I stood at the kitchen counter and cried like it was the first time I realized you were gone. I got to thinking about how much I hate it still and how it's not fair that at 24 I am without grandparents, and how much it sucks not having you here. I'm sorry if that keeps me from getting banana bread, but it's true. I'm angry that people have to get sick, I hate that there is a such thing as cancer and that nearly every person I have lost in my life has fought that battle. People are suppose to die because they're old, warm in their bed. Which is exactly what happens to a lot of people who don't take care of their bodies, and their families and take every wonderful thing about life for granted. But the rare, wonderful people who take each day as a blessing die sitting in a hospital talking about cancer markers and tumors and chemo.
...and I'm sure after reading that paragraph you just say "Welllllll...."
I hope you know the difference you've made in my life and the millions of times I turn to you in a day without even realizing it. You've gotten me through a lot, probably more now than when you were around. I regret every second I ever took you for granted but I thank you for making me who I am.
I love you,
Kristen
In the mail last night from Mary I got an article that the girls had put in the paper about you. It was the poem you kept in your wallet:
And the mother said, "I have reached the end of my journey and now I know the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk alone, and their children after them."
And the children said "You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates."
And they stood and watched her as she walked on alone, and the gates closed after her. And they said, "We cannot see her, but she is with us still. A mother like ours is more than a memory; she is a living presence."
...And so I stood at the kitchen counter and cried like it was the first time I realized you were gone. I got to thinking about how much I hate it still and how it's not fair that at 24 I am without grandparents, and how much it sucks not having you here. I'm sorry if that keeps me from getting banana bread, but it's true. I'm angry that people have to get sick, I hate that there is a such thing as cancer and that nearly every person I have lost in my life has fought that battle. People are suppose to die because they're old, warm in their bed. Which is exactly what happens to a lot of people who don't take care of their bodies, and their families and take every wonderful thing about life for granted. But the rare, wonderful people who take each day as a blessing die sitting in a hospital talking about cancer markers and tumors and chemo.
...and I'm sure after reading that paragraph you just say "Welllllll...."
I hope you know the difference you've made in my life and the millions of times I turn to you in a day without even realizing it. You've gotten me through a lot, probably more now than when you were around. I regret every second I ever took you for granted but I thank you for making me who I am.
I love you,
Kristen
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Dear Grandma,
I guess it's been a frusterating couple weeks and I kind of have the blues. Maybe it's just because I've overwhelmed with the marathon knowing I have so much going on in the next couple months - most of which I should be excited about. Either way I am trying to keep my head on straight and keep my eye on the prize - the finish on the 50 yard line in the Husker stadium.
The summer is quickly approaching and filling up even faster. Florida, Hannah's second birthday, weddings and all the in-betweens. By the time I put everything on the schedule and fill in the cracks with call, there isn't much time to plan all the things we "just have to do this summer." No wonder some of those things never happen. I have a closet full of clothes that will probably get worn once if I'm lucky because anytime I'm not wearing scrubs I prefer my cozies.
Easter was really weird without you this year. I think it's the first time I haven't been home for Easter let alone getting eggs out of the gutter, the tree, ....that mailbox at your front door...the trees in the backyard. I can only imagine your Easter was all you had ever hoped for...and more.
I scanned a patient today that reminded me a lot of Grandpa, although I don't know what it was. Most of it was probably the way he visited with his friend and the way he talked to me. It was a comfort and I wanted to take better care of him than any other patient in that hospital. The 20 minutes I was with him changed my perception of the day completely.
I hope all is well with you, thank you so much for the nice weather - if anything it has made these runs much more tolerable (although I could do without the drizzly and/or windy days). Thanks for getting me through the last couple miles when we ran last Thursday. I didn't understand at the time why you weren't making it easier, but I finished, so you obviously did just what I asked you to. Thank you.
I love you,
Kristen
I guess it's been a frusterating couple weeks and I kind of have the blues. Maybe it's just because I've overwhelmed with the marathon knowing I have so much going on in the next couple months - most of which I should be excited about. Either way I am trying to keep my head on straight and keep my eye on the prize - the finish on the 50 yard line in the Husker stadium.
The summer is quickly approaching and filling up even faster. Florida, Hannah's second birthday, weddings and all the in-betweens. By the time I put everything on the schedule and fill in the cracks with call, there isn't much time to plan all the things we "just have to do this summer." No wonder some of those things never happen. I have a closet full of clothes that will probably get worn once if I'm lucky because anytime I'm not wearing scrubs I prefer my cozies.
Easter was really weird without you this year. I think it's the first time I haven't been home for Easter let alone getting eggs out of the gutter, the tree, ....that mailbox at your front door...the trees in the backyard. I can only imagine your Easter was all you had ever hoped for...and more.
I scanned a patient today that reminded me a lot of Grandpa, although I don't know what it was. Most of it was probably the way he visited with his friend and the way he talked to me. It was a comfort and I wanted to take better care of him than any other patient in that hospital. The 20 minutes I was with him changed my perception of the day completely.
I hope all is well with you, thank you so much for the nice weather - if anything it has made these runs much more tolerable (although I could do without the drizzly and/or windy days). Thanks for getting me through the last couple miles when we ran last Thursday. I didn't understand at the time why you weren't making it easier, but I finished, so you obviously did just what I asked you to. Thank you.
I love you,
Kristen
Monday, March 29, 2010
Dear Grandma,
I can't believe it's been so long since I've writting, time has just kind of been flying because I've been so busy. Sometimes it's good to be busy, but you find yourself looking back wondering where the day, week - and then all of a sudden - month, has gone. I'm anxious to get through April, through the marathon, and hop on the airplane to go to Florida! I can't wait for a few days out of Nebraska and in the sun!
Lots has happened in the last couple weeks. Casey closed and moved into his house, a task that has relieved a lot of stress and anxiety. Things are coming together, but slowly. I try to help in anyway I can and so far have been a pretty good laundry and cleaning lady. He's been out of town for work a lot, so I figure whatever I can to to help him so he can get more accomplished when he is home is an easy favor. He always lets me know that he appreciates it, and that's all it takes to make it worthwhile.
The weekend Casey closed on his house his parents also came to Omaha...this was my first time meeting them, so of course, I was a little nervous and anxious. The feeling didn't last long though because as soon as they got here they made me feel like family and I didn't even have to remind myself to just "be myself"...it was easy. They are a lot like my parents, so it kind of just felt like home. A couple of random facts: they like to ride motorcycle AND have a family of Bichons (Casey's parents and both his siters have them) what are the odds!?
I heard there was a nice article in the paper about you. It's too bad I didn't know about it sooner, I would have certainly tried to get a copy of my own. I suppose it's just another downfall of living 250 miles away. That being said, it's hard to believe it's been over a year, but spring is coming just like you promised and I'm starting to see all the great things that God provides for us.
This weekend is Easter and it's hard to believe we won't be hiding Easter eggs in Armour and sifting through the candy dishes in your kitchen. Maybe I'll try to fester up my own "canned" banana bread but I doubt it will even compare.
I love you,
Kristen
I can't believe it's been so long since I've writting, time has just kind of been flying because I've been so busy. Sometimes it's good to be busy, but you find yourself looking back wondering where the day, week - and then all of a sudden - month, has gone. I'm anxious to get through April, through the marathon, and hop on the airplane to go to Florida! I can't wait for a few days out of Nebraska and in the sun!
Lots has happened in the last couple weeks. Casey closed and moved into his house, a task that has relieved a lot of stress and anxiety. Things are coming together, but slowly. I try to help in anyway I can and so far have been a pretty good laundry and cleaning lady. He's been out of town for work a lot, so I figure whatever I can to to help him so he can get more accomplished when he is home is an easy favor. He always lets me know that he appreciates it, and that's all it takes to make it worthwhile.
The weekend Casey closed on his house his parents also came to Omaha...this was my first time meeting them, so of course, I was a little nervous and anxious. The feeling didn't last long though because as soon as they got here they made me feel like family and I didn't even have to remind myself to just "be myself"...it was easy. They are a lot like my parents, so it kind of just felt like home. A couple of random facts: they like to ride motorcycle AND have a family of Bichons (Casey's parents and both his siters have them) what are the odds!?
I heard there was a nice article in the paper about you. It's too bad I didn't know about it sooner, I would have certainly tried to get a copy of my own. I suppose it's just another downfall of living 250 miles away. That being said, it's hard to believe it's been over a year, but spring is coming just like you promised and I'm starting to see all the great things that God provides for us.
This weekend is Easter and it's hard to believe we won't be hiding Easter eggs in Armour and sifting through the candy dishes in your kitchen. Maybe I'll try to fester up my own "canned" banana bread but I doubt it will even compare.
I love you,
Kristen
Monday, March 15, 2010
Dear Grandma,
A year ago today I drove 500 miles for a visit that I didn't know at the time was just to say goodbye. Had I known then what I know now I probably would have opted to miss work on Monday and just stayed. I suppose it wouldn't have made a difference and maybe it was better that I came and said goodbye and left but there's always a wonder. It doesn't seem like it's been a year already, but it does seem like it's been too long since I've seen you.
I've been exhausted lately. I really do enjoy this marathon training and feel great that I have been able to do it - it gives me a sense of accomplishment. It definitely takes some serious time management and drains all of my energy. We're looking at about a month and a half until race day and our runs are starting to show that. Most of our "short runs" aren't under 6 miles and they seem like such a breeze. We ran 16 miles this past Wednesday - can you believe that?
Casey closes on his house this week so keep him in prayers up there - I can see now why buying a house is so stressful. I didn't realize all the little things that can come up ..he's hanging in there but is definitely ready to just move in and start making it his own home. His parents come this weekend and this will be my first time meeting them - wish me luck - this is the true test. When I asked him what we'd do while they're here he said "Well, mom will want to shop and dad will want to look at things for his motorcycle." ...Ironic?
The older you get the harder Daylight Savings Time gets. It's amazing what one hour will do. I am, however, excited to have more time in the evening but I sure was confused when I was driving to work this morning in the dark...I kept thinking "I'm sure it's been light in the morning the last couple weeks..."
Spring is coming, you were right, and we've officially gotten through a year of "firsts" without you. Pardon my language, but it has totally sucked. We miss you.
Love you,
Kristen
A year ago today I drove 500 miles for a visit that I didn't know at the time was just to say goodbye. Had I known then what I know now I probably would have opted to miss work on Monday and just stayed. I suppose it wouldn't have made a difference and maybe it was better that I came and said goodbye and left but there's always a wonder. It doesn't seem like it's been a year already, but it does seem like it's been too long since I've seen you.
I've been exhausted lately. I really do enjoy this marathon training and feel great that I have been able to do it - it gives me a sense of accomplishment. It definitely takes some serious time management and drains all of my energy. We're looking at about a month and a half until race day and our runs are starting to show that. Most of our "short runs" aren't under 6 miles and they seem like such a breeze. We ran 16 miles this past Wednesday - can you believe that?
Casey closes on his house this week so keep him in prayers up there - I can see now why buying a house is so stressful. I didn't realize all the little things that can come up ..he's hanging in there but is definitely ready to just move in and start making it his own home. His parents come this weekend and this will be my first time meeting them - wish me luck - this is the true test. When I asked him what we'd do while they're here he said "Well, mom will want to shop and dad will want to look at things for his motorcycle." ...Ironic?
The older you get the harder Daylight Savings Time gets. It's amazing what one hour will do. I am, however, excited to have more time in the evening but I sure was confused when I was driving to work this morning in the dark...I kept thinking "I'm sure it's been light in the morning the last couple weeks..."
Spring is coming, you were right, and we've officially gotten through a year of "firsts" without you. Pardon my language, but it has totally sucked. We miss you.
Love you,
Kristen
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Dear Grandma,
"Spring will come, the sun will shine, tomorrow will be better."...Tomorrow will be better, tomorrow will be better...tomorrow. will. be. better. These words ran through my head more than once as I tried to survive my call week although it seemed as though it was never going to end. 18 callbacks later, the sun is shining and the day is better. Honestly Grandma, the sun really is shining! It was a very trying week, an even more diffucult weekend and I'm surprised I still have a boyfriend after all the angry call-in phone calls and the post call apologetic phone calls. The week is going good so far, but I am already counting the hours until Casey and I leave for South Dakota. I haven't been home since the week I went to recover from surgery and I have to get out of this place. It couldn't come at a more perfect time, I just wish Friday morning would hurry up and get here!
I'm still going stong with this marathon training but would be completely incapable of doing it without a great partner. By the end of this week we will have run 142 miles so far....something I never, ever thought I could do. It's amazing how your body just kind of takes over and does the work for you, and sometimes, it's amazing how 3 miles can seem like torture. But I still have my eye on the prize and somedays have to picture myself crossing the finish just to keep my legs moving. I'm excited but I'm also dreading it all in the same. I can do it, I know I can, but I'm going to need your help.
Casey and I got tickets to fly to Florida in May. His oldest sister lives in Jacksonville with her huspand and two kids, so I'm looking forward to meeting all of them. It sounds like they're going to meet us in Orlando so we can spend the first day with the kids at Disney. I've never been to Florida, so obviously I'm looking forward to that, too! Minnie Mouse was my favorite lady of all time when I was little, and I'm sure my mom still has the ruffled bed sheets to prove it, so it's only right that I meet her one of these days.
Blair has been having quite the struggle down here with Baby Bristol. She was sick all last week and was finally admitted to Children's hospital on Thursday for RSV. I've never seen a little baby so sick and can't stand the look she gvies you, begging you to take it all away. She seems to be getting a little better but won't be going home until she can keep down a bottle and be without oxygen for 24 hours - she has been unsuccessful on both accounts. Blair has a lot on her plate right now, and although I try, I don't feel like I'm doing everything I could be to help make it a little easier. So, if you get a minute up there, would you send some love her way?
It's suppose to be in the 50's this week. I think we're getting close to the springtime you've been promising. We're also getting very close to the day you've been up in heaven for a year. This place will never be the same without you.
I love you,
Kristen
"Spring will come, the sun will shine, tomorrow will be better."...Tomorrow will be better, tomorrow will be better...tomorrow. will. be. better. These words ran through my head more than once as I tried to survive my call week although it seemed as though it was never going to end. 18 callbacks later, the sun is shining and the day is better. Honestly Grandma, the sun really is shining! It was a very trying week, an even more diffucult weekend and I'm surprised I still have a boyfriend after all the angry call-in phone calls and the post call apologetic phone calls. The week is going good so far, but I am already counting the hours until Casey and I leave for South Dakota. I haven't been home since the week I went to recover from surgery and I have to get out of this place. It couldn't come at a more perfect time, I just wish Friday morning would hurry up and get here!
I'm still going stong with this marathon training but would be completely incapable of doing it without a great partner. By the end of this week we will have run 142 miles so far....something I never, ever thought I could do. It's amazing how your body just kind of takes over and does the work for you, and sometimes, it's amazing how 3 miles can seem like torture. But I still have my eye on the prize and somedays have to picture myself crossing the finish just to keep my legs moving. I'm excited but I'm also dreading it all in the same. I can do it, I know I can, but I'm going to need your help.
Casey and I got tickets to fly to Florida in May. His oldest sister lives in Jacksonville with her huspand and two kids, so I'm looking forward to meeting all of them. It sounds like they're going to meet us in Orlando so we can spend the first day with the kids at Disney. I've never been to Florida, so obviously I'm looking forward to that, too! Minnie Mouse was my favorite lady of all time when I was little, and I'm sure my mom still has the ruffled bed sheets to prove it, so it's only right that I meet her one of these days.
Blair has been having quite the struggle down here with Baby Bristol. She was sick all last week and was finally admitted to Children's hospital on Thursday for RSV. I've never seen a little baby so sick and can't stand the look she gvies you, begging you to take it all away. She seems to be getting a little better but won't be going home until she can keep down a bottle and be without oxygen for 24 hours - she has been unsuccessful on both accounts. Blair has a lot on her plate right now, and although I try, I don't feel like I'm doing everything I could be to help make it a little easier. So, if you get a minute up there, would you send some love her way?
It's suppose to be in the 50's this week. I think we're getting close to the springtime you've been promising. We're also getting very close to the day you've been up in heaven for a year. This place will never be the same without you.
I love you,
Kristen
Friday, February 19, 2010
Dear Grandma,
Another week has passed and I would imagine you and Grandma Weisser have been busy up there catching up with Lulie. I'd bet there was plenty of coffee and kuchen...and laughs, I'm sure. I hope you all had some of Grandma Weisser's kuchen because if you didn't she will stand behind you asking "Don't you like it?" until you do. You'll like it, trust me. I wish it hadn't been so long since I've seen Lu last, I remember it was the summer of my third year of college when mom and I saw her in the Hyvee parking lot. She seemed confused then, but still bubbly as ever. There never will be a pair of sisters quite like those three but I'm sure they'll have much more fun up there.
It's my birthday today and I'm really missing you. We never did talk on the phone much but you always knew to make an important day special with a phone call. I watched the video for "Temoporary Home" this morning with Casey and cried like a four year old when she says thanks her Grandpa for waiting for her. I know that feeling all too well and I'm thankful I made it for such an important moment but still just don't quite understand it. I didn't realize that the hole digs itself deeper with every "first" we experience without you. It just hasn't gotten any easier yet - in fact - a lot of days it's just a bit harder.
I had a great Valentines and am now having a great birthday. I have a great boyfriend and he makes sad mornings like this morning better. I missed you, I missed my parents but I am very thankful he was here, and I'm lucky that family is as important to him as it is to me. He got it and he let me be sad, but he also made me feel better.
I wish I had more to say, but to be honest, words bring tears to my eyes today especially with a missing phone call and the missing card that would have likely taken all afternoon to read. I need to stop so I can spare Casey anymore tears to wipe. I want you to know that I am thinking of you today - more than most days.
I love you,
Kristen
Another week has passed and I would imagine you and Grandma Weisser have been busy up there catching up with Lulie. I'd bet there was plenty of coffee and kuchen...and laughs, I'm sure. I hope you all had some of Grandma Weisser's kuchen because if you didn't she will stand behind you asking "Don't you like it?" until you do. You'll like it, trust me. I wish it hadn't been so long since I've seen Lu last, I remember it was the summer of my third year of college when mom and I saw her in the Hyvee parking lot. She seemed confused then, but still bubbly as ever. There never will be a pair of sisters quite like those three but I'm sure they'll have much more fun up there.
It's my birthday today and I'm really missing you. We never did talk on the phone much but you always knew to make an important day special with a phone call. I watched the video for "Temoporary Home" this morning with Casey and cried like a four year old when she says thanks her Grandpa for waiting for her. I know that feeling all too well and I'm thankful I made it for such an important moment but still just don't quite understand it. I didn't realize that the hole digs itself deeper with every "first" we experience without you. It just hasn't gotten any easier yet - in fact - a lot of days it's just a bit harder.
I had a great Valentines and am now having a great birthday. I have a great boyfriend and he makes sad mornings like this morning better. I missed you, I missed my parents but I am very thankful he was here, and I'm lucky that family is as important to him as it is to me. He got it and he let me be sad, but he also made me feel better.
I wish I had more to say, but to be honest, words bring tears to my eyes today especially with a missing phone call and the missing card that would have likely taken all afternoon to read. I need to stop so I can spare Casey anymore tears to wipe. I want you to know that I am thinking of you today - more than most days.
I love you,
Kristen
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Dear Grandma,
It's official. I'm sick of winter, sick of snow, sick of cold. My friend Becky and her boyfriend Tyler are planning to come to Omaha for my birthday this year - and for once - I would love for there to not be a giant blizzard forbidding travel. If it does, I will likely be forced to drink wine and eat Cheez Its all night. Hyvee wine and spirits is only a few miles from my house and they sure do have a vast selection.
This Monday was a good one, Mondays are always good when they mark the end of a call week. And for once - for the first time since I have been working - I had a very slow, very tolerable call week. I only had 7 callbacks the entire week which is a record low for me. Casey and I spent a lot of Saturday at the mall and were even able to go out to eat without the annoying beep of that pager. So I can't complain but am ever so thankful that the stress and anxiety of being on call is over.
Jamey and I have entered our third week of marathon training, our long Saturday run is 12 miles. The longest we have run so far (at once) is 10...after this week we will almost have completed a half marathon. It's a challenge, it always is, but it's all a mind game. Your body can do whatever your mind says it can. And this Saturday my mind is telling me I can run 12 miles. Easier said than done, sure, but the feeling I have when I finish that makes me feel like I can do anything - makes me feel like I can fly. So please, Grandma, give us some decent running weather on Saturday...12 miles around a track is borderline torure. Anything over 25 degrees will suffice. =)
I'm planning another trip home - in March (with Casey!). Going home always makes me think of you, because when I used to go home I would try and plan in some time to see you. I got to thinking about how hard it is to settle on the fact that you're gone when I realized it's almost been a year. That's completely unbelievable, I mean, you've been gone longer than you were sick, really. It doesn't get any easier and that's the worst part. But I know that where you are now is better than where you used to be - so, I suppose that's what gets me through. I bet it's warmer up there, too.
I love you,
Kristen
It's official. I'm sick of winter, sick of snow, sick of cold. My friend Becky and her boyfriend Tyler are planning to come to Omaha for my birthday this year - and for once - I would love for there to not be a giant blizzard forbidding travel. If it does, I will likely be forced to drink wine and eat Cheez Its all night. Hyvee wine and spirits is only a few miles from my house and they sure do have a vast selection.
This Monday was a good one, Mondays are always good when they mark the end of a call week. And for once - for the first time since I have been working - I had a very slow, very tolerable call week. I only had 7 callbacks the entire week which is a record low for me. Casey and I spent a lot of Saturday at the mall and were even able to go out to eat without the annoying beep of that pager. So I can't complain but am ever so thankful that the stress and anxiety of being on call is over.
Jamey and I have entered our third week of marathon training, our long Saturday run is 12 miles. The longest we have run so far (at once) is 10...after this week we will almost have completed a half marathon. It's a challenge, it always is, but it's all a mind game. Your body can do whatever your mind says it can. And this Saturday my mind is telling me I can run 12 miles. Easier said than done, sure, but the feeling I have when I finish that makes me feel like I can do anything - makes me feel like I can fly. So please, Grandma, give us some decent running weather on Saturday...12 miles around a track is borderline torure. Anything over 25 degrees will suffice. =)
I'm planning another trip home - in March (with Casey!). Going home always makes me think of you, because when I used to go home I would try and plan in some time to see you. I got to thinking about how hard it is to settle on the fact that you're gone when I realized it's almost been a year. That's completely unbelievable, I mean, you've been gone longer than you were sick, really. It doesn't get any easier and that's the worst part. But I know that where you are now is better than where you used to be - so, I suppose that's what gets me through. I bet it's warmer up there, too.
I love you,
Kristen
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Dear Grandma,
I thought I would take the opportunity of a mellow morning at work to send you a little note...while drink my coffee. I know it's something you were very fond of doing with your friends so I thought that maybe this morning I would be able to share it with you. I often wonder if you're doing the same things up there in heaven that you used to love so much when you were down here. And I wonder if you're still proud of me like you were then - now that you see me more than you used to. I sure hope so, you're face shows up in more places than you'd ever realize.
I had a great weekend, one that even the winter cold could not damper. Friday night I met with some close friends - it was just us four girls and - well - a few bottles of wine. We spent the night just talking and laughing and did it all with nothing but each other's friendship. Sometimes the simplest nights are the ones that end up being the greatest ones. Saturday morning Jamey and I completed our first week of marathon training with our first "long run". The longest ones are always on Saturdays, this one was 10 miles. I won't say it was a breeze, but much easier than I thought it would be and realized it's not a matter of whether or not my body can do it - anyone's can - it's just a matter of having my head where it needs to be..it's just a mind game anyway. You wouldn't believe how often I think of you when I'm running. I see you there, and somehow, you're often my motivation to keep going. I hope I feel this the day I run 26.2 miles, because lets face it, this is just one more thing I want to do to make you proud. We got done running and I headed over to Blair's apartment to help her move to a new one - one closer to me. Of course it will be nice to have her closer for when she gets called in and I need to go to her house -many times in the middle of the night - to watch her babies, but I'm happy to have her that much closer becuase she's my family here. Who doesn't want to have their family as close as possible. When we were finished moving boxes and catching up we gathered up the boyfriends and drug them to a chick flick, and surprisingly (with the exception of a few comments) they handled that quite well. We're both very lucky girls to have guys like them. Sunday was a lazy day, but my favorite kind. Casey and I did a little shopping and went out that night for a couple of my favorties - spaghetti and ice cream.
And here we are at a new week, a call week, one that started with a bang last night with 11 pm and 4 am calls. I'm just trying to keep a good attitude and just get it over with. I can't have another call week as bad as the last one I had, right? I can't be in a bad mood today tho, I'm at Immanual, another Alegent hospital with a little less to do and a LOT less drama. It's a nice change and who can possibly be in a bad mood on "The Biggest Loser" night? Hopefully Abby and I will be able to make it through the whole show, page free. If not, well then, Thank the Lord for DVR.
I hope this finds you in good spirits but imagine it's the only way you are these days. I know you're up there enjoying all you've ever wanted, and I'm so happy for that, I just wish it didn't leave us with an emptyness down here. You'll have a new great grandbaby before long, and I'm sure mommy and daddy are getting anxious for little Will to be born. It seems like time has gone so fast for them but February sure is a good month to bring new Papes into the world. =)
I love you,
Kristen
I thought I would take the opportunity of a mellow morning at work to send you a little note...while drink my coffee. I know it's something you were very fond of doing with your friends so I thought that maybe this morning I would be able to share it with you. I often wonder if you're doing the same things up there in heaven that you used to love so much when you were down here. And I wonder if you're still proud of me like you were then - now that you see me more than you used to. I sure hope so, you're face shows up in more places than you'd ever realize.
I had a great weekend, one that even the winter cold could not damper. Friday night I met with some close friends - it was just us four girls and - well - a few bottles of wine. We spent the night just talking and laughing and did it all with nothing but each other's friendship. Sometimes the simplest nights are the ones that end up being the greatest ones. Saturday morning Jamey and I completed our first week of marathon training with our first "long run". The longest ones are always on Saturdays, this one was 10 miles. I won't say it was a breeze, but much easier than I thought it would be and realized it's not a matter of whether or not my body can do it - anyone's can - it's just a matter of having my head where it needs to be..it's just a mind game anyway. You wouldn't believe how often I think of you when I'm running. I see you there, and somehow, you're often my motivation to keep going. I hope I feel this the day I run 26.2 miles, because lets face it, this is just one more thing I want to do to make you proud. We got done running and I headed over to Blair's apartment to help her move to a new one - one closer to me. Of course it will be nice to have her closer for when she gets called in and I need to go to her house -many times in the middle of the night - to watch her babies, but I'm happy to have her that much closer becuase she's my family here. Who doesn't want to have their family as close as possible. When we were finished moving boxes and catching up we gathered up the boyfriends and drug them to a chick flick, and surprisingly (with the exception of a few comments) they handled that quite well. We're both very lucky girls to have guys like them. Sunday was a lazy day, but my favorite kind. Casey and I did a little shopping and went out that night for a couple of my favorties - spaghetti and ice cream.
And here we are at a new week, a call week, one that started with a bang last night with 11 pm and 4 am calls. I'm just trying to keep a good attitude and just get it over with. I can't have another call week as bad as the last one I had, right? I can't be in a bad mood today tho, I'm at Immanual, another Alegent hospital with a little less to do and a LOT less drama. It's a nice change and who can possibly be in a bad mood on "The Biggest Loser" night? Hopefully Abby and I will be able to make it through the whole show, page free. If not, well then, Thank the Lord for DVR.
I hope this finds you in good spirits but imagine it's the only way you are these days. I know you're up there enjoying all you've ever wanted, and I'm so happy for that, I just wish it didn't leave us with an emptyness down here. You'll have a new great grandbaby before long, and I'm sure mommy and daddy are getting anxious for little Will to be born. It seems like time has gone so fast for them but February sure is a good month to bring new Papes into the world. =)
I love you,
Kristen
Friday, January 29, 2010
Dear Grandma,
Well, so far 2010 is proving to be better than 2009. Maybe it's all in the attitude I have and the deterimation to have a better year, maybe it's the fact that I have you up in heaven helping me along the way - whatever it is, whoever is in charge of the change, I'm thankful for it.
I continue to keep busy here in Omaha, sometimes so much that I feel like I look back and a whole month has passed. .. other times I feel like weeks drag on and on. I added even more to my agenda this week as I finally registered and am officially "in training" for the Lincoln marathon in May. I'm excited all while being anxious for it to be over. I know it will be tough and I know it will be trying, but am hoping to have the support there to help see me through 26.2 miles. I'm lucky to have a great friend to train with who has done it before and is just as motivated to get through it with me.
I know it's not even February but I am so entirely sick of cold and snow I can barely stand it. I wake up a lot of morning and wonder why I live in Nebraska and I remember it's because of the people I want to be close to. The driving conditions here never do get unbearable, but these Nebraskans shut completely down and freak out with any weather "condition" in general. Defensive driving is not only a skill - it's like a part time job. Road rage takes on a whole new meaning when snow, rain....wind....anything outside of 75 degrees and sunny presents itself.
I'm looking forward to an evening with wine and some girlfriends, and it is much needed. All four of us work together and the only thing that has gotten us through the week are our plans for tonight. Any frusterations we don't work out tonight should be elminated after Jamey and I complete our ten mile run tomorrow morning.
I should tell you that the letters I write to you - and my reasons as to why - have motivated Casey to call his Grandma every week. It means a lot to me that I've made some kind of impact on him and have helped him realze the importance of such relationships and knowing not to take them for granted. I hope that means a lot to you too, afterall, you're the reason I am so thankful for such things in the first place.
Hope all is well up there, I look for you everyday and somedays, I know I find you.
Love you,
Kristen
Well, so far 2010 is proving to be better than 2009. Maybe it's all in the attitude I have and the deterimation to have a better year, maybe it's the fact that I have you up in heaven helping me along the way - whatever it is, whoever is in charge of the change, I'm thankful for it.
I continue to keep busy here in Omaha, sometimes so much that I feel like I look back and a whole month has passed. .. other times I feel like weeks drag on and on. I added even more to my agenda this week as I finally registered and am officially "in training" for the Lincoln marathon in May. I'm excited all while being anxious for it to be over. I know it will be tough and I know it will be trying, but am hoping to have the support there to help see me through 26.2 miles. I'm lucky to have a great friend to train with who has done it before and is just as motivated to get through it with me.
I know it's not even February but I am so entirely sick of cold and snow I can barely stand it. I wake up a lot of morning and wonder why I live in Nebraska and I remember it's because of the people I want to be close to. The driving conditions here never do get unbearable, but these Nebraskans shut completely down and freak out with any weather "condition" in general. Defensive driving is not only a skill - it's like a part time job. Road rage takes on a whole new meaning when snow, rain....wind....anything outside of 75 degrees and sunny presents itself.
I'm looking forward to an evening with wine and some girlfriends, and it is much needed. All four of us work together and the only thing that has gotten us through the week are our plans for tonight. Any frusterations we don't work out tonight should be elminated after Jamey and I complete our ten mile run tomorrow morning.
I should tell you that the letters I write to you - and my reasons as to why - have motivated Casey to call his Grandma every week. It means a lot to me that I've made some kind of impact on him and have helped him realze the importance of such relationships and knowing not to take them for granted. I hope that means a lot to you too, afterall, you're the reason I am so thankful for such things in the first place.
Hope all is well up there, I look for you everyday and somedays, I know I find you.
Love you,
Kristen
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Dear Grandma,
This week I had never been so happy for a Monday morning in my life. I had a call weekend from hell and considered torching something multiple times. I spent a lot of angry time in my car, driving to and from the hospital and I regret to inform you that I am not deserving of banana bread this week.
We're celebrating the weather in Omaha because we're reaching record highs of 30 and 40 degrees. Not that I have a chance to enjoy it beings it's dark when I come to work and dark again when I leave, but I'm happy the walk from the parking lot doesn't take my breath away. I do fear about what all this snow is going to do if it gets too warm and I'm wondering where I can find a canoe to get to and from work.
I'm dealing with the same frusterations I always have but am certainly happier these days. I have a lot to be thankful for and don't want to waste any time complaining about the things that make me feel any differently. Life is too short and relationships with people too important. I've seen too many relationships fall to pieces over silly and uneccessary piddly arguments that mean absolutely nothing. Those kinds of things make me sick and I vowed one day that I will never let it happen to me and the people that are important to me - and I never will. I wish this was something obvious to everyone.
I definitely long to go home to South Dakota. I appreciated the time I had there over Christmas but it was stuck behind a sick fog, memories I don't even have because between the pain and the medicine, I don't remember much other than wanting to pass out after a trip across the room. I plan to go back in March and hope to go back sooner if possible. I miss my parents, I miss my brother and his wife, and I miss replica of the two...and her curly brown mop. I'll get there soon enough, and I'll make up for the time I missed.
I hope this finds you celebrating something. And I certainly hope it finds you smiling. Send your love to a specific broken family and offer comfort until there are more answers. You can do much more than I can, but I'm certainly trying to do my best.
I love you,
Kristen
This week I had never been so happy for a Monday morning in my life. I had a call weekend from hell and considered torching something multiple times. I spent a lot of angry time in my car, driving to and from the hospital and I regret to inform you that I am not deserving of banana bread this week.
We're celebrating the weather in Omaha because we're reaching record highs of 30 and 40 degrees. Not that I have a chance to enjoy it beings it's dark when I come to work and dark again when I leave, but I'm happy the walk from the parking lot doesn't take my breath away. I do fear about what all this snow is going to do if it gets too warm and I'm wondering where I can find a canoe to get to and from work.
I'm dealing with the same frusterations I always have but am certainly happier these days. I have a lot to be thankful for and don't want to waste any time complaining about the things that make me feel any differently. Life is too short and relationships with people too important. I've seen too many relationships fall to pieces over silly and uneccessary piddly arguments that mean absolutely nothing. Those kinds of things make me sick and I vowed one day that I will never let it happen to me and the people that are important to me - and I never will. I wish this was something obvious to everyone.
I definitely long to go home to South Dakota. I appreciated the time I had there over Christmas but it was stuck behind a sick fog, memories I don't even have because between the pain and the medicine, I don't remember much other than wanting to pass out after a trip across the room. I plan to go back in March and hope to go back sooner if possible. I miss my parents, I miss my brother and his wife, and I miss replica of the two...and her curly brown mop. I'll get there soon enough, and I'll make up for the time I missed.
I hope this finds you celebrating something. And I certainly hope it finds you smiling. Send your love to a specific broken family and offer comfort until there are more answers. You can do much more than I can, but I'm certainly trying to do my best.
I love you,
Kristen
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Dear Grandma,
I've passed my deadline again but am happy to be writing you the first letter of the new year. I'm looking forward to seeing what 2010 has in store, because quite frankly, 2009 kinda stunk. Shortly after writing you the last time I had another go around with this kidney battle. This time, however, the kidney stone that had gotten itself stuck was too large to pass on it's own and they had to take me to surgery, take it out and put a stent in it's place for a week. The only thing worse than having this 15 inch stent in for a week was having that thing taken out. I'll spare you the details, but it was seriously one of the most painful things I've had to undergo in nearly 24 years. I'm thankful that it's over, that I was able to spend a week in South Dakota with my family to recover, and hoping God will give me some answers to all of this soon.
Some good did come out of another ER visit, another two days in the hospital, and a surgery. I've got this guy that makes me completely forget about all the crappy other ones that have come and gone. He's a good guy. Shovel my driveway in the middle of the night so I won't have to, spend 48 hours straight in a hospital so I won't be alone, all while updating my parents that he had not yet met, wash my car while I'm out of town, bring me flowers just because I had a bad day - good. Good enough that I'm telling you about him because you of all people know these kind of secrets are ones I don't spill very easily. I was going to tell you first. But then I got sick and things happened and I haven't been able to write. But I was going to tell you first because I know you already know all about him. You probably know more than I do because I'm sure this was your doing. But we made the best of 48 hours in a hospital and when I woke up at 2 am becuase they came in to wake me up for something or because I didn't feel well, he crawled off his fold out couch to come sit next to me and talk to me so I wouldn't be alone. And you know, aside from some of the silly things the pain meds made me say, we really did have a lot of good meaningful conversations. So, the situation wasn't a fun one, but some good did come of it.
I'm hoping this is the last time I have to write you about my kidneys. Maybe they just wanted to have one big blowout before the new year and now they're going to leave me alone. I am forever in debt to my parents for all they've done for me since this started. Mom for the lost sleep, the endless miles she's traveled just to be with me and for taking care of me the way only moms can. And you should know how miserable I would have been with the company of the laughs from dad. My parents rock and it's as simple as that.
We got an email from Mary and it sounds like your house is in good hands. I like the idea of that, just not sure that I would be ready to see it for myself. Maybe later, we'll see.
I love you,
Krsiten
I've passed my deadline again but am happy to be writing you the first letter of the new year. I'm looking forward to seeing what 2010 has in store, because quite frankly, 2009 kinda stunk. Shortly after writing you the last time I had another go around with this kidney battle. This time, however, the kidney stone that had gotten itself stuck was too large to pass on it's own and they had to take me to surgery, take it out and put a stent in it's place for a week. The only thing worse than having this 15 inch stent in for a week was having that thing taken out. I'll spare you the details, but it was seriously one of the most painful things I've had to undergo in nearly 24 years. I'm thankful that it's over, that I was able to spend a week in South Dakota with my family to recover, and hoping God will give me some answers to all of this soon.
Some good did come out of another ER visit, another two days in the hospital, and a surgery. I've got this guy that makes me completely forget about all the crappy other ones that have come and gone. He's a good guy. Shovel my driveway in the middle of the night so I won't have to, spend 48 hours straight in a hospital so I won't be alone, all while updating my parents that he had not yet met, wash my car while I'm out of town, bring me flowers just because I had a bad day - good. Good enough that I'm telling you about him because you of all people know these kind of secrets are ones I don't spill very easily. I was going to tell you first. But then I got sick and things happened and I haven't been able to write. But I was going to tell you first because I know you already know all about him. You probably know more than I do because I'm sure this was your doing. But we made the best of 48 hours in a hospital and when I woke up at 2 am becuase they came in to wake me up for something or because I didn't feel well, he crawled off his fold out couch to come sit next to me and talk to me so I wouldn't be alone. And you know, aside from some of the silly things the pain meds made me say, we really did have a lot of good meaningful conversations. So, the situation wasn't a fun one, but some good did come of it.
I'm hoping this is the last time I have to write you about my kidneys. Maybe they just wanted to have one big blowout before the new year and now they're going to leave me alone. I am forever in debt to my parents for all they've done for me since this started. Mom for the lost sleep, the endless miles she's traveled just to be with me and for taking care of me the way only moms can. And you should know how miserable I would have been with the company of the laughs from dad. My parents rock and it's as simple as that.
We got an email from Mary and it sounds like your house is in good hands. I like the idea of that, just not sure that I would be ready to see it for myself. Maybe later, we'll see.
I love you,
Krsiten
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