Dear Grandma,
It's been longer than usual that I've written last, but it does not go without good reason. I landed another afternoon in the ER. Same story, different day. Except this time it took the help of my brother and his wife to get me home from Des Moines, where they were vacationing and I was visiting a friend. I don't regret visiting, even tho I did end up being struck with a misfortune that is becomming far to habitual, but I do regret the fact that I had to call upon Jason and Tonya to get me back to Omaha - a two hour trip, which ended up robbing 4 hours from their trip. I regret it, but am very fortunate all in the same. A phone call from my brother and a hug from my sister in law made me realize they were doing this because they wanted to be there for me, and it put me at ease -as it always does - to have such wonderful people to call family. This incident added more stress to the pot as we had a big event coming, but 5 days later I passed that little bastard to follow through with one of the greatest surprises I was ever included in.

It was dad's idea, a master plan, something that will forever make him proud and something I will never forget. A simple brotherly birthday, but the trip in itself was so much more. This trip brought together family, a family which has gone so long without realizing the priceless relationships within all of us. We had to keep it secret from the rest of the world, because those of us who did know were absolutely dying having to hold this in. But the expression on uncle Tom's face when he greeted who he thought was the dog sitter is priceless and will be forever engraved in my memory. It was the look my dad hoped for all along, it was the first sign of success. I'm proud of my dad for doing this, and ever so thankful to have been included. I learned in a matter of 6 days something that I already knew, but felt it ever stronger now. God gives us family for a reason and it is up to us to accept the gift. So, I'm back in Omaha now, with stronger relationships, friendships with people who are so much more than family. I know you didn't get a lot of time to get to know "Aunt Patty", but I know that she's just one more gift you've given us. She is such a great part of our family now and I'm so very thankful to have her. Not only is she a sole factor in making this trip even possible, she welcomed us in to her world, showed us things we have never seen before and made me wonder how I've gone 23 years not knowing her. She left me with a gift I will cherish foever, and she puts a goofy smile on Tom's face. I've seen my uncle Tom smile before, but I've never seen such happiness behind it before. The looks she puts on his face is something he deserves very much. She's gold. My cousin Rachel is one i grew up not knowing. When you're young, 12 years is a lot, and South Dakota to New Jersey is more than just a trek, it's nearly impossible. But she has taught me life lessons in the time we have fostered a relationship. These people I will hang onto forever. It's so hard to believe Tom (I never once called him "Tommy" or "Little Tom" although it was something I had to constantly remind myself) have been married for 7 years - and that their wedding was my first trip to the east coast. It's amazing their "baby" Aaron is now very much a little boy, and he has a little brother, too. They're adorable, and exhausting! No wonder Kathy stays so beautiful and tiny! I can only hope to look like her when I am a mother of two. I can only hope to someday be a mother of two! This trip is one I will make again,....and again and again.

We talked of you often. This was the first trip we had made to the east coast without you. We remembered you when we ate Twizzlers on the plane, when we plowed through the crowds, remembering you being miles ahead of the rest of us. You never slowed down, you never complained, you never took for granted your surroundings. But the diners missed something, the airplanes missed something, our cook outs missed something. We missed something, someone - you. We talked of questions we didn't have the answers to. Some things, we may never have answers to. But one thing is certain, we missed having you there.

I miss you more with each passing day - I really do. But I also see you in my everyday more and more. It's clear that you're very much in my life, just in a different way. But your constant reminders are greatly appreciated and I'm constantly reminding myself that even though you aren't here, I'm so lucky with all you've left behind for me.

Love,
Kristen