Dear Grandma,
Today is a hard day for a lot of people, and even though I wasn't able to be there to share the day with the rest of the family, it hurts me just the same. Yesterday, under rain showers, all the little reminders we have of you, your life, and memories of family were spread across your lawn. People decided how much your memories were worth, because to them, they were just "things". Things to fill a space, to add to a collection, or to avoid having to spend the extra money to buy them new. I wasn't there physically, but believe me Grandma, I was there. The fact that I wasn't able to be there is bittersweet to me. I wanted to be there to help, to support, and to deal. But I didn't want to be there to see people bid on momentos of your life, and I certainly didn't want to watch your home become a vacancy. I want to remember it for what it means to me, and I want to hang on to it's smell, because even that memory will soon fade away, and I want to have it with me, as long as I can. Maybe if I never see that house empty I will never realize it is. Maybe that's a blessing, and maybe it's not. Yesterday it rained. Today the sun was shining, and although to many it may not be "better" we see you've kept your promise.
Things are rocky in Omaha, but only because one chapter is ending and as soon as it does, things will be better. I remind myself daily to hold my tongue and hold true to the person I am. Age, I'm learning, is teaching me that sometimes it's best to just sit back and let things happen as they will - and there is certainly truth to being the bigger person. Standing up for yourself doesn't always mean saying what's on your mind (even if I think it would make me feel better). So I play by the rules and sit back and watch. And I repeat your infamous quote over and over.....and over again. And I believe it, thankfully.
This will be a difficult week for many, and I'm hoping you'll try and get everyone through. I don't think anyone is even over the fact that you were diagnosed with cancer unexpectadly, and now, all the we had left of you has been dispersed. The greatest struggle is finding ways to make sure your legacy goes on forever. Easier said than done, but we're working on it. You'll never know how much I have learned and grown from all of this, you've helped me realize the person I am, and I am certainly thankful for that. You've given me more confidence and strength than even I thought possible and I feel it everyday. I'd prefer it in a letter or sitting across from you at the bowling alley over some grilled cheese, but I'll take all I can get.

Love you,
Kristen