Dear Grandma,
Well, so far 2010 is proving to be better than 2009. Maybe it's all in the attitude I have and the deterimation to have a better year, maybe it's the fact that I have you up in heaven helping me along the way - whatever it is, whoever is in charge of the change, I'm thankful for it.
I continue to keep busy here in Omaha, sometimes so much that I feel like I look back and a whole month has passed. .. other times I feel like weeks drag on and on. I added even more to my agenda this week as I finally registered and am officially "in training" for the Lincoln marathon in May. I'm excited all while being anxious for it to be over. I know it will be tough and I know it will be trying, but am hoping to have the support there to help see me through 26.2 miles. I'm lucky to have a great friend to train with who has done it before and is just as motivated to get through it with me.
I know it's not even February but I am so entirely sick of cold and snow I can barely stand it. I wake up a lot of morning and wonder why I live in Nebraska and I remember it's because of the people I want to be close to. The driving conditions here never do get unbearable, but these Nebraskans shut completely down and freak out with any weather "condition" in general. Defensive driving is not only a skill - it's like a part time job. Road rage takes on a whole new meaning when snow, rain....wind....anything outside of 75 degrees and sunny presents itself.
I'm looking forward to an evening with wine and some girlfriends, and it is much needed. All four of us work together and the only thing that has gotten us through the week are our plans for tonight. Any frusterations we don't work out tonight should be elminated after Jamey and I complete our ten mile run tomorrow morning.
I should tell you that the letters I write to you - and my reasons as to why - have motivated Casey to call his Grandma every week. It means a lot to me that I've made some kind of impact on him and have helped him realze the importance of such relationships and knowing not to take them for granted. I hope that means a lot to you too, afterall, you're the reason I am so thankful for such things in the first place.
Hope all is well up there, I look for you everyday and somedays, I know I find you.
Love you,
Kristen
Friday, January 29, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Dear Grandma,
This week I had never been so happy for a Monday morning in my life. I had a call weekend from hell and considered torching something multiple times. I spent a lot of angry time in my car, driving to and from the hospital and I regret to inform you that I am not deserving of banana bread this week.
We're celebrating the weather in Omaha because we're reaching record highs of 30 and 40 degrees. Not that I have a chance to enjoy it beings it's dark when I come to work and dark again when I leave, but I'm happy the walk from the parking lot doesn't take my breath away. I do fear about what all this snow is going to do if it gets too warm and I'm wondering where I can find a canoe to get to and from work.
I'm dealing with the same frusterations I always have but am certainly happier these days. I have a lot to be thankful for and don't want to waste any time complaining about the things that make me feel any differently. Life is too short and relationships with people too important. I've seen too many relationships fall to pieces over silly and uneccessary piddly arguments that mean absolutely nothing. Those kinds of things make me sick and I vowed one day that I will never let it happen to me and the people that are important to me - and I never will. I wish this was something obvious to everyone.
I definitely long to go home to South Dakota. I appreciated the time I had there over Christmas but it was stuck behind a sick fog, memories I don't even have because between the pain and the medicine, I don't remember much other than wanting to pass out after a trip across the room. I plan to go back in March and hope to go back sooner if possible. I miss my parents, I miss my brother and his wife, and I miss replica of the two...and her curly brown mop. I'll get there soon enough, and I'll make up for the time I missed.
I hope this finds you celebrating something. And I certainly hope it finds you smiling. Send your love to a specific broken family and offer comfort until there are more answers. You can do much more than I can, but I'm certainly trying to do my best.
I love you,
Kristen
This week I had never been so happy for a Monday morning in my life. I had a call weekend from hell and considered torching something multiple times. I spent a lot of angry time in my car, driving to and from the hospital and I regret to inform you that I am not deserving of banana bread this week.
We're celebrating the weather in Omaha because we're reaching record highs of 30 and 40 degrees. Not that I have a chance to enjoy it beings it's dark when I come to work and dark again when I leave, but I'm happy the walk from the parking lot doesn't take my breath away. I do fear about what all this snow is going to do if it gets too warm and I'm wondering where I can find a canoe to get to and from work.
I'm dealing with the same frusterations I always have but am certainly happier these days. I have a lot to be thankful for and don't want to waste any time complaining about the things that make me feel any differently. Life is too short and relationships with people too important. I've seen too many relationships fall to pieces over silly and uneccessary piddly arguments that mean absolutely nothing. Those kinds of things make me sick and I vowed one day that I will never let it happen to me and the people that are important to me - and I never will. I wish this was something obvious to everyone.
I definitely long to go home to South Dakota. I appreciated the time I had there over Christmas but it was stuck behind a sick fog, memories I don't even have because between the pain and the medicine, I don't remember much other than wanting to pass out after a trip across the room. I plan to go back in March and hope to go back sooner if possible. I miss my parents, I miss my brother and his wife, and I miss replica of the two...and her curly brown mop. I'll get there soon enough, and I'll make up for the time I missed.
I hope this finds you celebrating something. And I certainly hope it finds you smiling. Send your love to a specific broken family and offer comfort until there are more answers. You can do much more than I can, but I'm certainly trying to do my best.
I love you,
Kristen
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Dear Grandma,
I've passed my deadline again but am happy to be writing you the first letter of the new year. I'm looking forward to seeing what 2010 has in store, because quite frankly, 2009 kinda stunk. Shortly after writing you the last time I had another go around with this kidney battle. This time, however, the kidney stone that had gotten itself stuck was too large to pass on it's own and they had to take me to surgery, take it out and put a stent in it's place for a week. The only thing worse than having this 15 inch stent in for a week was having that thing taken out. I'll spare you the details, but it was seriously one of the most painful things I've had to undergo in nearly 24 years. I'm thankful that it's over, that I was able to spend a week in South Dakota with my family to recover, and hoping God will give me some answers to all of this soon.
Some good did come out of another ER visit, another two days in the hospital, and a surgery. I've got this guy that makes me completely forget about all the crappy other ones that have come and gone. He's a good guy. Shovel my driveway in the middle of the night so I won't have to, spend 48 hours straight in a hospital so I won't be alone, all while updating my parents that he had not yet met, wash my car while I'm out of town, bring me flowers just because I had a bad day - good. Good enough that I'm telling you about him because you of all people know these kind of secrets are ones I don't spill very easily. I was going to tell you first. But then I got sick and things happened and I haven't been able to write. But I was going to tell you first because I know you already know all about him. You probably know more than I do because I'm sure this was your doing. But we made the best of 48 hours in a hospital and when I woke up at 2 am becuase they came in to wake me up for something or because I didn't feel well, he crawled off his fold out couch to come sit next to me and talk to me so I wouldn't be alone. And you know, aside from some of the silly things the pain meds made me say, we really did have a lot of good meaningful conversations. So, the situation wasn't a fun one, but some good did come of it.
I'm hoping this is the last time I have to write you about my kidneys. Maybe they just wanted to have one big blowout before the new year and now they're going to leave me alone. I am forever in debt to my parents for all they've done for me since this started. Mom for the lost sleep, the endless miles she's traveled just to be with me and for taking care of me the way only moms can. And you should know how miserable I would have been with the company of the laughs from dad. My parents rock and it's as simple as that.
We got an email from Mary and it sounds like your house is in good hands. I like the idea of that, just not sure that I would be ready to see it for myself. Maybe later, we'll see.
I love you,
Krsiten
I've passed my deadline again but am happy to be writing you the first letter of the new year. I'm looking forward to seeing what 2010 has in store, because quite frankly, 2009 kinda stunk. Shortly after writing you the last time I had another go around with this kidney battle. This time, however, the kidney stone that had gotten itself stuck was too large to pass on it's own and they had to take me to surgery, take it out and put a stent in it's place for a week. The only thing worse than having this 15 inch stent in for a week was having that thing taken out. I'll spare you the details, but it was seriously one of the most painful things I've had to undergo in nearly 24 years. I'm thankful that it's over, that I was able to spend a week in South Dakota with my family to recover, and hoping God will give me some answers to all of this soon.
Some good did come out of another ER visit, another two days in the hospital, and a surgery. I've got this guy that makes me completely forget about all the crappy other ones that have come and gone. He's a good guy. Shovel my driveway in the middle of the night so I won't have to, spend 48 hours straight in a hospital so I won't be alone, all while updating my parents that he had not yet met, wash my car while I'm out of town, bring me flowers just because I had a bad day - good. Good enough that I'm telling you about him because you of all people know these kind of secrets are ones I don't spill very easily. I was going to tell you first. But then I got sick and things happened and I haven't been able to write. But I was going to tell you first because I know you already know all about him. You probably know more than I do because I'm sure this was your doing. But we made the best of 48 hours in a hospital and when I woke up at 2 am becuase they came in to wake me up for something or because I didn't feel well, he crawled off his fold out couch to come sit next to me and talk to me so I wouldn't be alone. And you know, aside from some of the silly things the pain meds made me say, we really did have a lot of good meaningful conversations. So, the situation wasn't a fun one, but some good did come of it.
I'm hoping this is the last time I have to write you about my kidneys. Maybe they just wanted to have one big blowout before the new year and now they're going to leave me alone. I am forever in debt to my parents for all they've done for me since this started. Mom for the lost sleep, the endless miles she's traveled just to be with me and for taking care of me the way only moms can. And you should know how miserable I would have been with the company of the laughs from dad. My parents rock and it's as simple as that.
We got an email from Mary and it sounds like your house is in good hands. I like the idea of that, just not sure that I would be ready to see it for myself. Maybe later, we'll see.
I love you,
Krsiten
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Dear Grandma,
It's Christmas Eve today and if the week hands me one more challenge I might possibly have to light something on fire. Don't worry though, that's a pretty common threat from me and I have yet to follow through. I've had so many frusterations with work this week I am going to bypass the subject completely. It would be a waste of time and it will only make me have to talk about it more. I have the blues and I knew I would. It's the first Christmas I have missed with my family since I have lived in Omaha, not that it will be "missed" just delayed. The traditions of Christmas Eve on Mary street are some of my favorites of all the year. I wish I was back home, having supper, going to church, opening presents - but I wll be here, nuring my sick kidneys and babysitting my pager all while anticipating the "bad" weather. I put that in quotations because some of these Nebraskans are whack jobs when it comes to weather and like dad said earlier this week "They panic and we South Dakotans get a six pack, put in a beatles cd and try to get the car stuck."
I wish I had more positive things to say this time around. I'm just really bummed and frusterated. The scare I had with my kidneys this morning has me paranoid and having the PA tell me that they would be concerned about cancer if I were a 60 year old overweight smoker. I know I'm not, but if there is one word that I would prefer never hear it's that one.
That being said, it's Christmas. I'm lucky to have a wonderful family, great friends. Christmas is when you make it and I am certainly looking foward to hitting the interstate on Wednesday to head home to celebrate the holidays with my family. It's just hard to watch everyone around here doing just that. I am thankful though, and I definitely shouldn't complain.
On the bright side I thought of somehting. This year I can spend Christmas with you. Because this year nobody can take that from me. So I'll see you on my couch this evening for a stack of Red Box movies.
Love you
Merry Christmas
Kristen
It's Christmas Eve today and if the week hands me one more challenge I might possibly have to light something on fire. Don't worry though, that's a pretty common threat from me and I have yet to follow through. I've had so many frusterations with work this week I am going to bypass the subject completely. It would be a waste of time and it will only make me have to talk about it more. I have the blues and I knew I would. It's the first Christmas I have missed with my family since I have lived in Omaha, not that it will be "missed" just delayed. The traditions of Christmas Eve on Mary street are some of my favorites of all the year. I wish I was back home, having supper, going to church, opening presents - but I wll be here, nuring my sick kidneys and babysitting my pager all while anticipating the "bad" weather. I put that in quotations because some of these Nebraskans are whack jobs when it comes to weather and like dad said earlier this week "They panic and we South Dakotans get a six pack, put in a beatles cd and try to get the car stuck."
I wish I had more positive things to say this time around. I'm just really bummed and frusterated. The scare I had with my kidneys this morning has me paranoid and having the PA tell me that they would be concerned about cancer if I were a 60 year old overweight smoker. I know I'm not, but if there is one word that I would prefer never hear it's that one.
That being said, it's Christmas. I'm lucky to have a wonderful family, great friends. Christmas is when you make it and I am certainly looking foward to hitting the interstate on Wednesday to head home to celebrate the holidays with my family. It's just hard to watch everyone around here doing just that. I am thankful though, and I definitely shouldn't complain.
On the bright side I thought of somehting. This year I can spend Christmas with you. Because this year nobody can take that from me. So I'll see you on my couch this evening for a stack of Red Box movies.
Love you
Merry Christmas
Kristen
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Dear Grandma,
I know it's been entirely too long since I've written. The holidays and the winter has been keeping me pretty busy and on top of all of that my computer got a virus. It's amazing that even technology gets sick. I am lucky enough to have a friend who's job is to take care of all of that, so he was able to fix the problem. Thank goodness he did, because Lord knows I would never have figured out and would have likely thrown my computer off the roof in the attempt.
Any break we thought we had gotten from winter this year was taken from us this past week. The snow hit Omaha - and hard - last Wednesday. So hard in fact that my roomate and I (and many other people) were stranded at home all day. Even my four wheel drive SUV couldn't make it through our street. I spent 20 minutes trying to get it back on the driveway after it had stubbornly planted itself in the middle of Franklin Street. The tires were spinnin' and the snow a'flyin...but she wasn't moving. Instead of risking our lives and sanity trying to get to work, Abby and I spent the afternoon in front of the fireplace watching movies and waiting for the snow plow. It was like the snow days we used to have in high school except I wasn't able to go back to bed and sleep until noon. Dang you adulthood and the fact that my body is programmed to be awake before 6 am. I couldn't even tell you how much snow we got, but it DUMPED snow for an entire day, and then spent another day blowing it into drifts across the streets of Omaha. It. was. a. mess. This week we've reached a new chapter "freezing drizzle and moron drivers." Please remind me again why I live in Nebraska.
This past weekend mom and dad were in town for mom's birthday. For months mom and I had dad believing they were coming to Omaha to celebrate mom's birthday - which was partially true. The "Surprise concert" that we were "taking mom" to was actually a surprise Beatles concert for dad. He was not especially excited to come all the way to Omaha to go out for supper, and boy was he surprised. I got him =) He thought for sure his birthday ended on the east coast...he's not the only one who can pull of secrets. =) We spent Saturday shopping and went out to eat for mom's birthday. It was a great weekend and I'm so happy they took the whole weekend and spent it with me. I'm certainly lucky.
Christmas is quickly approaching as is my dreaded week on call. Things are looking up though, there are going to be more people in Omaha over Christmas than I thought, one of my friends even invited me to eat with her family for Christmas. It still won't quite be the same and I will be missing my family, but it's nice to know I have options to keep myself occupied. Ive got my decorations up, my presents wrapped and have finally begun to get in the spirit, but, Christmas won't be Christmas for me until I'm home In Parkston with my family. I finally have Grandpa's star in Omaha. I remember the year we moved out of the house on 2nd and elm street - and away from the pretty star that hung on the street light on the corner each Christmas. I remember when you and Grandpa visited and presented me with my very own star for Mary street. That star now hangs on the wall in my duplex.
Things have really been going well with the exception of the general work frustrations. I'm happy and parts of my life that have seemed to be missing something are beginning to fill themselves in. I'm optimistic about the next year...hoepfully this will be the year I look back at and don't say "Boy, 2010 really blew." I've got high expectations. =)
I thought - very specifically - about you today at work. I remembered the day you came to the shop ... the first time I saw you after we found out you were sick. I rememvber the big smile on your face when you saw me and I remember the the hug where you squeezed me tighter than I thought your strength allowd. It's a great memory of a very difficult visit. My goodness I miss you.I thought of you again when I had a dipped Ritz (and then another). I'd give anything to make part of my trip to South Dakota in a couple weeks a detour through Amrour. But there's nothing worth seeing anymore in Armour....
I love you,
Kristen
I included a picture of my star from Grandpa, I thought he'd like to see it.
I know it's been entirely too long since I've written. The holidays and the winter has been keeping me pretty busy and on top of all of that my computer got a virus. It's amazing that even technology gets sick. I am lucky enough to have a friend who's job is to take care of all of that, so he was able to fix the problem. Thank goodness he did, because Lord knows I would never have figured out and would have likely thrown my computer off the roof in the attempt.
Any break we thought we had gotten from winter this year was taken from us this past week. The snow hit Omaha - and hard - last Wednesday. So hard in fact that my roomate and I (and many other people) were stranded at home all day. Even my four wheel drive SUV couldn't make it through our street. I spent 20 minutes trying to get it back on the driveway after it had stubbornly planted itself in the middle of Franklin Street. The tires were spinnin' and the snow a'flyin...but she wasn't moving. Instead of risking our lives and sanity trying to get to work, Abby and I spent the afternoon in front of the fireplace watching movies and waiting for the snow plow. It was like the snow days we used to have in high school except I wasn't able to go back to bed and sleep until noon. Dang you adulthood and the fact that my body is programmed to be awake before 6 am. I couldn't even tell you how much snow we got, but it DUMPED snow for an entire day, and then spent another day blowing it into drifts across the streets of Omaha. It. was. a. mess. This week we've reached a new chapter "freezing drizzle and moron drivers." Please remind me again why I live in Nebraska.
This past weekend mom and dad were in town for mom's birthday. For months mom and I had dad believing they were coming to Omaha to celebrate mom's birthday - which was partially true. The "Surprise concert" that we were "taking mom" to was actually a surprise Beatles concert for dad. He was not especially excited to come all the way to Omaha to go out for supper, and boy was he surprised. I got him =) He thought for sure his birthday ended on the east coast...he's not the only one who can pull of secrets. =) We spent Saturday shopping and went out to eat for mom's birthday. It was a great weekend and I'm so happy they took the whole weekend and spent it with me. I'm certainly lucky.
Christmas is quickly approaching as is my dreaded week on call. Things are looking up though, there are going to be more people in Omaha over Christmas than I thought, one of my friends even invited me to eat with her family for Christmas. It still won't quite be the same and I will be missing my family, but it's nice to know I have options to keep myself occupied. Ive got my decorations up, my presents wrapped and have finally begun to get in the spirit, but, Christmas won't be Christmas for me until I'm home In Parkston with my family. I finally have Grandpa's star in Omaha. I remember the year we moved out of the house on 2nd and elm street - and away from the pretty star that hung on the street light on the corner each Christmas. I remember when you and Grandpa visited and presented me with my very own star for Mary street. That star now hangs on the wall in my duplex.
Things have really been going well with the exception of the general work frustrations. I'm happy and parts of my life that have seemed to be missing something are beginning to fill themselves in. I'm optimistic about the next year...hoepfully this will be the year I look back at and don't say "Boy, 2010 really blew." I've got high expectations. =)
I thought - very specifically - about you today at work. I remembered the day you came to the shop ... the first time I saw you after we found out you were sick. I rememvber the big smile on your face when you saw me and I remember the the hug where you squeezed me tighter than I thought your strength allowd. It's a great memory of a very difficult visit. My goodness I miss you.I thought of you again when I had a dipped Ritz (and then another). I'd give anything to make part of my trip to South Dakota in a couple weeks a detour through Amrour. But there's nothing worth seeing anymore in Armour....
I love you,
Kristen
I included a picture of my star from Grandpa, I thought he'd like to see it.
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