Dear Grandma,
Well, so far 2010 is proving to be better than 2009. Maybe it's all in the attitude I have and the deterimation to have a better year, maybe it's the fact that I have you up in heaven helping me along the way - whatever it is, whoever is in charge of the change, I'm thankful for it.
I continue to keep busy here in Omaha, sometimes so much that I feel like I look back and a whole month has passed. .. other times I feel like weeks drag on and on. I added even more to my agenda this week as I finally registered and am officially "in training" for the Lincoln marathon in May. I'm excited all while being anxious for it to be over. I know it will be tough and I know it will be trying, but am hoping to have the support there to help see me through 26.2 miles. I'm lucky to have a great friend to train with who has done it before and is just as motivated to get through it with me.
I know it's not even February but I am so entirely sick of cold and snow I can barely stand it. I wake up a lot of morning and wonder why I live in Nebraska and I remember it's because of the people I want to be close to. The driving conditions here never do get unbearable, but these Nebraskans shut completely down and freak out with any weather "condition" in general. Defensive driving is not only a skill - it's like a part time job. Road rage takes on a whole new meaning when snow, rain....wind....anything outside of 75 degrees and sunny presents itself.
I'm looking forward to an evening with wine and some girlfriends, and it is much needed. All four of us work together and the only thing that has gotten us through the week are our plans for tonight. Any frusterations we don't work out tonight should be elminated after Jamey and I complete our ten mile run tomorrow morning.
I should tell you that the letters I write to you - and my reasons as to why - have motivated Casey to call his Grandma every week. It means a lot to me that I've made some kind of impact on him and have helped him realze the importance of such relationships and knowing not to take them for granted. I hope that means a lot to you too, afterall, you're the reason I am so thankful for such things in the first place.
Hope all is well up there, I look for you everyday and somedays, I know I find you.
Love you,
Kristen
Friday, January 29, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Dear Grandma,
This week I had never been so happy for a Monday morning in my life. I had a call weekend from hell and considered torching something multiple times. I spent a lot of angry time in my car, driving to and from the hospital and I regret to inform you that I am not deserving of banana bread this week.
We're celebrating the weather in Omaha because we're reaching record highs of 30 and 40 degrees. Not that I have a chance to enjoy it beings it's dark when I come to work and dark again when I leave, but I'm happy the walk from the parking lot doesn't take my breath away. I do fear about what all this snow is going to do if it gets too warm and I'm wondering where I can find a canoe to get to and from work.
I'm dealing with the same frusterations I always have but am certainly happier these days. I have a lot to be thankful for and don't want to waste any time complaining about the things that make me feel any differently. Life is too short and relationships with people too important. I've seen too many relationships fall to pieces over silly and uneccessary piddly arguments that mean absolutely nothing. Those kinds of things make me sick and I vowed one day that I will never let it happen to me and the people that are important to me - and I never will. I wish this was something obvious to everyone.
I definitely long to go home to South Dakota. I appreciated the time I had there over Christmas but it was stuck behind a sick fog, memories I don't even have because between the pain and the medicine, I don't remember much other than wanting to pass out after a trip across the room. I plan to go back in March and hope to go back sooner if possible. I miss my parents, I miss my brother and his wife, and I miss replica of the two...and her curly brown mop. I'll get there soon enough, and I'll make up for the time I missed.
I hope this finds you celebrating something. And I certainly hope it finds you smiling. Send your love to a specific broken family and offer comfort until there are more answers. You can do much more than I can, but I'm certainly trying to do my best.
I love you,
Kristen
This week I had never been so happy for a Monday morning in my life. I had a call weekend from hell and considered torching something multiple times. I spent a lot of angry time in my car, driving to and from the hospital and I regret to inform you that I am not deserving of banana bread this week.
We're celebrating the weather in Omaha because we're reaching record highs of 30 and 40 degrees. Not that I have a chance to enjoy it beings it's dark when I come to work and dark again when I leave, but I'm happy the walk from the parking lot doesn't take my breath away. I do fear about what all this snow is going to do if it gets too warm and I'm wondering where I can find a canoe to get to and from work.
I'm dealing with the same frusterations I always have but am certainly happier these days. I have a lot to be thankful for and don't want to waste any time complaining about the things that make me feel any differently. Life is too short and relationships with people too important. I've seen too many relationships fall to pieces over silly and uneccessary piddly arguments that mean absolutely nothing. Those kinds of things make me sick and I vowed one day that I will never let it happen to me and the people that are important to me - and I never will. I wish this was something obvious to everyone.
I definitely long to go home to South Dakota. I appreciated the time I had there over Christmas but it was stuck behind a sick fog, memories I don't even have because between the pain and the medicine, I don't remember much other than wanting to pass out after a trip across the room. I plan to go back in March and hope to go back sooner if possible. I miss my parents, I miss my brother and his wife, and I miss replica of the two...and her curly brown mop. I'll get there soon enough, and I'll make up for the time I missed.
I hope this finds you celebrating something. And I certainly hope it finds you smiling. Send your love to a specific broken family and offer comfort until there are more answers. You can do much more than I can, but I'm certainly trying to do my best.
I love you,
Kristen
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Dear Grandma,
I've passed my deadline again but am happy to be writing you the first letter of the new year. I'm looking forward to seeing what 2010 has in store, because quite frankly, 2009 kinda stunk. Shortly after writing you the last time I had another go around with this kidney battle. This time, however, the kidney stone that had gotten itself stuck was too large to pass on it's own and they had to take me to surgery, take it out and put a stent in it's place for a week. The only thing worse than having this 15 inch stent in for a week was having that thing taken out. I'll spare you the details, but it was seriously one of the most painful things I've had to undergo in nearly 24 years. I'm thankful that it's over, that I was able to spend a week in South Dakota with my family to recover, and hoping God will give me some answers to all of this soon.
Some good did come out of another ER visit, another two days in the hospital, and a surgery. I've got this guy that makes me completely forget about all the crappy other ones that have come and gone. He's a good guy. Shovel my driveway in the middle of the night so I won't have to, spend 48 hours straight in a hospital so I won't be alone, all while updating my parents that he had not yet met, wash my car while I'm out of town, bring me flowers just because I had a bad day - good. Good enough that I'm telling you about him because you of all people know these kind of secrets are ones I don't spill very easily. I was going to tell you first. But then I got sick and things happened and I haven't been able to write. But I was going to tell you first because I know you already know all about him. You probably know more than I do because I'm sure this was your doing. But we made the best of 48 hours in a hospital and when I woke up at 2 am becuase they came in to wake me up for something or because I didn't feel well, he crawled off his fold out couch to come sit next to me and talk to me so I wouldn't be alone. And you know, aside from some of the silly things the pain meds made me say, we really did have a lot of good meaningful conversations. So, the situation wasn't a fun one, but some good did come of it.
I'm hoping this is the last time I have to write you about my kidneys. Maybe they just wanted to have one big blowout before the new year and now they're going to leave me alone. I am forever in debt to my parents for all they've done for me since this started. Mom for the lost sleep, the endless miles she's traveled just to be with me and for taking care of me the way only moms can. And you should know how miserable I would have been with the company of the laughs from dad. My parents rock and it's as simple as that.
We got an email from Mary and it sounds like your house is in good hands. I like the idea of that, just not sure that I would be ready to see it for myself. Maybe later, we'll see.
I love you,
Krsiten
I've passed my deadline again but am happy to be writing you the first letter of the new year. I'm looking forward to seeing what 2010 has in store, because quite frankly, 2009 kinda stunk. Shortly after writing you the last time I had another go around with this kidney battle. This time, however, the kidney stone that had gotten itself stuck was too large to pass on it's own and they had to take me to surgery, take it out and put a stent in it's place for a week. The only thing worse than having this 15 inch stent in for a week was having that thing taken out. I'll spare you the details, but it was seriously one of the most painful things I've had to undergo in nearly 24 years. I'm thankful that it's over, that I was able to spend a week in South Dakota with my family to recover, and hoping God will give me some answers to all of this soon.
Some good did come out of another ER visit, another two days in the hospital, and a surgery. I've got this guy that makes me completely forget about all the crappy other ones that have come and gone. He's a good guy. Shovel my driveway in the middle of the night so I won't have to, spend 48 hours straight in a hospital so I won't be alone, all while updating my parents that he had not yet met, wash my car while I'm out of town, bring me flowers just because I had a bad day - good. Good enough that I'm telling you about him because you of all people know these kind of secrets are ones I don't spill very easily. I was going to tell you first. But then I got sick and things happened and I haven't been able to write. But I was going to tell you first because I know you already know all about him. You probably know more than I do because I'm sure this was your doing. But we made the best of 48 hours in a hospital and when I woke up at 2 am becuase they came in to wake me up for something or because I didn't feel well, he crawled off his fold out couch to come sit next to me and talk to me so I wouldn't be alone. And you know, aside from some of the silly things the pain meds made me say, we really did have a lot of good meaningful conversations. So, the situation wasn't a fun one, but some good did come of it.
I'm hoping this is the last time I have to write you about my kidneys. Maybe they just wanted to have one big blowout before the new year and now they're going to leave me alone. I am forever in debt to my parents for all they've done for me since this started. Mom for the lost sleep, the endless miles she's traveled just to be with me and for taking care of me the way only moms can. And you should know how miserable I would have been with the company of the laughs from dad. My parents rock and it's as simple as that.
We got an email from Mary and it sounds like your house is in good hands. I like the idea of that, just not sure that I would be ready to see it for myself. Maybe later, we'll see.
I love you,
Krsiten
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