Dear Grandma,
Another week has passed and I would imagine you and Grandma Weisser have been busy up there catching up with Lulie. I'd bet there was plenty of coffee and kuchen...and laughs, I'm sure. I hope you all had some of Grandma Weisser's kuchen because if you didn't she will stand behind you asking "Don't you like it?" until you do. You'll like it, trust me. I wish it hadn't been so long since I've seen Lu last, I remember it was the summer of my third year of college when mom and I saw her in the Hyvee parking lot. She seemed confused then, but still bubbly as ever. There never will be a pair of sisters quite like those three but I'm sure they'll have much more fun up there.
It's my birthday today and I'm really missing you. We never did talk on the phone much but you always knew to make an important day special with a phone call. I watched the video for "Temoporary Home" this morning with Casey and cried like a four year old when she says thanks her Grandpa for waiting for her. I know that feeling all too well and I'm thankful I made it for such an important moment but still just don't quite understand it. I didn't realize that the hole digs itself deeper with every "first" we experience without you. It just hasn't gotten any easier yet - in fact - a lot of days it's just a bit harder.
I had a great Valentines and am now having a great birthday. I have a great boyfriend and he makes sad mornings like this morning better. I missed you, I missed my parents but I am very thankful he was here, and I'm lucky that family is as important to him as it is to me. He got it and he let me be sad, but he also made me feel better.
I wish I had more to say, but to be honest, words bring tears to my eyes today especially with a missing phone call and the missing card that would have likely taken all afternoon to read. I need to stop so I can spare Casey anymore tears to wipe. I want you to know that I am thinking of you today - more than most days.
I love you,
Kristen
Friday, February 19, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Dear Grandma,
It's official. I'm sick of winter, sick of snow, sick of cold. My friend Becky and her boyfriend Tyler are planning to come to Omaha for my birthday this year - and for once - I would love for there to not be a giant blizzard forbidding travel. If it does, I will likely be forced to drink wine and eat Cheez Its all night. Hyvee wine and spirits is only a few miles from my house and they sure do have a vast selection.
This Monday was a good one, Mondays are always good when they mark the end of a call week. And for once - for the first time since I have been working - I had a very slow, very tolerable call week. I only had 7 callbacks the entire week which is a record low for me. Casey and I spent a lot of Saturday at the mall and were even able to go out to eat without the annoying beep of that pager. So I can't complain but am ever so thankful that the stress and anxiety of being on call is over.
Jamey and I have entered our third week of marathon training, our long Saturday run is 12 miles. The longest we have run so far (at once) is 10...after this week we will almost have completed a half marathon. It's a challenge, it always is, but it's all a mind game. Your body can do whatever your mind says it can. And this Saturday my mind is telling me I can run 12 miles. Easier said than done, sure, but the feeling I have when I finish that makes me feel like I can do anything - makes me feel like I can fly. So please, Grandma, give us some decent running weather on Saturday...12 miles around a track is borderline torure. Anything over 25 degrees will suffice. =)
I'm planning another trip home - in March (with Casey!). Going home always makes me think of you, because when I used to go home I would try and plan in some time to see you. I got to thinking about how hard it is to settle on the fact that you're gone when I realized it's almost been a year. That's completely unbelievable, I mean, you've been gone longer than you were sick, really. It doesn't get any easier and that's the worst part. But I know that where you are now is better than where you used to be - so, I suppose that's what gets me through. I bet it's warmer up there, too.
I love you,
Kristen
It's official. I'm sick of winter, sick of snow, sick of cold. My friend Becky and her boyfriend Tyler are planning to come to Omaha for my birthday this year - and for once - I would love for there to not be a giant blizzard forbidding travel. If it does, I will likely be forced to drink wine and eat Cheez Its all night. Hyvee wine and spirits is only a few miles from my house and they sure do have a vast selection.
This Monday was a good one, Mondays are always good when they mark the end of a call week. And for once - for the first time since I have been working - I had a very slow, very tolerable call week. I only had 7 callbacks the entire week which is a record low for me. Casey and I spent a lot of Saturday at the mall and were even able to go out to eat without the annoying beep of that pager. So I can't complain but am ever so thankful that the stress and anxiety of being on call is over.
Jamey and I have entered our third week of marathon training, our long Saturday run is 12 miles. The longest we have run so far (at once) is 10...after this week we will almost have completed a half marathon. It's a challenge, it always is, but it's all a mind game. Your body can do whatever your mind says it can. And this Saturday my mind is telling me I can run 12 miles. Easier said than done, sure, but the feeling I have when I finish that makes me feel like I can do anything - makes me feel like I can fly. So please, Grandma, give us some decent running weather on Saturday...12 miles around a track is borderline torure. Anything over 25 degrees will suffice. =)
I'm planning another trip home - in March (with Casey!). Going home always makes me think of you, because when I used to go home I would try and plan in some time to see you. I got to thinking about how hard it is to settle on the fact that you're gone when I realized it's almost been a year. That's completely unbelievable, I mean, you've been gone longer than you were sick, really. It doesn't get any easier and that's the worst part. But I know that where you are now is better than where you used to be - so, I suppose that's what gets me through. I bet it's warmer up there, too.
I love you,
Kristen
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Dear Grandma,
I thought I would take the opportunity of a mellow morning at work to send you a little note...while drink my coffee. I know it's something you were very fond of doing with your friends so I thought that maybe this morning I would be able to share it with you. I often wonder if you're doing the same things up there in heaven that you used to love so much when you were down here. And I wonder if you're still proud of me like you were then - now that you see me more than you used to. I sure hope so, you're face shows up in more places than you'd ever realize.
I had a great weekend, one that even the winter cold could not damper. Friday night I met with some close friends - it was just us four girls and - well - a few bottles of wine. We spent the night just talking and laughing and did it all with nothing but each other's friendship. Sometimes the simplest nights are the ones that end up being the greatest ones. Saturday morning Jamey and I completed our first week of marathon training with our first "long run". The longest ones are always on Saturdays, this one was 10 miles. I won't say it was a breeze, but much easier than I thought it would be and realized it's not a matter of whether or not my body can do it - anyone's can - it's just a matter of having my head where it needs to be..it's just a mind game anyway. You wouldn't believe how often I think of you when I'm running. I see you there, and somehow, you're often my motivation to keep going. I hope I feel this the day I run 26.2 miles, because lets face it, this is just one more thing I want to do to make you proud. We got done running and I headed over to Blair's apartment to help her move to a new one - one closer to me. Of course it will be nice to have her closer for when she gets called in and I need to go to her house -many times in the middle of the night - to watch her babies, but I'm happy to have her that much closer becuase she's my family here. Who doesn't want to have their family as close as possible. When we were finished moving boxes and catching up we gathered up the boyfriends and drug them to a chick flick, and surprisingly (with the exception of a few comments) they handled that quite well. We're both very lucky girls to have guys like them. Sunday was a lazy day, but my favorite kind. Casey and I did a little shopping and went out that night for a couple of my favorties - spaghetti and ice cream.
And here we are at a new week, a call week, one that started with a bang last night with 11 pm and 4 am calls. I'm just trying to keep a good attitude and just get it over with. I can't have another call week as bad as the last one I had, right? I can't be in a bad mood today tho, I'm at Immanual, another Alegent hospital with a little less to do and a LOT less drama. It's a nice change and who can possibly be in a bad mood on "The Biggest Loser" night? Hopefully Abby and I will be able to make it through the whole show, page free. If not, well then, Thank the Lord for DVR.
I hope this finds you in good spirits but imagine it's the only way you are these days. I know you're up there enjoying all you've ever wanted, and I'm so happy for that, I just wish it didn't leave us with an emptyness down here. You'll have a new great grandbaby before long, and I'm sure mommy and daddy are getting anxious for little Will to be born. It seems like time has gone so fast for them but February sure is a good month to bring new Papes into the world. =)
I love you,
Kristen
I thought I would take the opportunity of a mellow morning at work to send you a little note...while drink my coffee. I know it's something you were very fond of doing with your friends so I thought that maybe this morning I would be able to share it with you. I often wonder if you're doing the same things up there in heaven that you used to love so much when you were down here. And I wonder if you're still proud of me like you were then - now that you see me more than you used to. I sure hope so, you're face shows up in more places than you'd ever realize.
I had a great weekend, one that even the winter cold could not damper. Friday night I met with some close friends - it was just us four girls and - well - a few bottles of wine. We spent the night just talking and laughing and did it all with nothing but each other's friendship. Sometimes the simplest nights are the ones that end up being the greatest ones. Saturday morning Jamey and I completed our first week of marathon training with our first "long run". The longest ones are always on Saturdays, this one was 10 miles. I won't say it was a breeze, but much easier than I thought it would be and realized it's not a matter of whether or not my body can do it - anyone's can - it's just a matter of having my head where it needs to be..it's just a mind game anyway. You wouldn't believe how often I think of you when I'm running. I see you there, and somehow, you're often my motivation to keep going. I hope I feel this the day I run 26.2 miles, because lets face it, this is just one more thing I want to do to make you proud. We got done running and I headed over to Blair's apartment to help her move to a new one - one closer to me. Of course it will be nice to have her closer for when she gets called in and I need to go to her house -many times in the middle of the night - to watch her babies, but I'm happy to have her that much closer becuase she's my family here. Who doesn't want to have their family as close as possible. When we were finished moving boxes and catching up we gathered up the boyfriends and drug them to a chick flick, and surprisingly (with the exception of a few comments) they handled that quite well. We're both very lucky girls to have guys like them. Sunday was a lazy day, but my favorite kind. Casey and I did a little shopping and went out that night for a couple of my favorties - spaghetti and ice cream.
And here we are at a new week, a call week, one that started with a bang last night with 11 pm and 4 am calls. I'm just trying to keep a good attitude and just get it over with. I can't have another call week as bad as the last one I had, right? I can't be in a bad mood today tho, I'm at Immanual, another Alegent hospital with a little less to do and a LOT less drama. It's a nice change and who can possibly be in a bad mood on "The Biggest Loser" night? Hopefully Abby and I will be able to make it through the whole show, page free. If not, well then, Thank the Lord for DVR.
I hope this finds you in good spirits but imagine it's the only way you are these days. I know you're up there enjoying all you've ever wanted, and I'm so happy for that, I just wish it didn't leave us with an emptyness down here. You'll have a new great grandbaby before long, and I'm sure mommy and daddy are getting anxious for little Will to be born. It seems like time has gone so fast for them but February sure is a good month to bring new Papes into the world. =)
I love you,
Kristen
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