Dear Grandma,


I wish you could be here to enjoy this beautiful weather....I try to take it in everyday because although fall is my favorite season it's also the one that is over the quickest. There's nothing I'd rather be doing than sitting next to the open patio door while the neighbor mows his lawn and Casey fights with his accounting homework.

It's hard to believe you've been gone for over a year now. What's harder to believe is all the fighting that continues to go own. I wish I could tell you that the day you left us everyone came together and got over all the petty things and became the family you had always wanted them to be - but I can't. Since it isn't my place to say anything to them I need to talk to you. I'm happy to tell you that I have formed some great relationships with cousins and have come to appreciate the relationship I have with my own brother even more...I understand that not everyone is that lucky. I just wish they would all step back and take a look at how silly this has all become. It's a lot of he said/she said and taking sides when I really don't think the answer is that hard to find. A response to an email, a phone call - even a full blown screaming fight might be all that it would take - but nothing good will come of this until somebody steps foward. It's a fight about the stuff...but I don't think the "stuff" has anything to do with it. Now especially, since I am finally looking foward to the day in my life that I thought might never happen - the day I marry the man you helped me find - I would love to have something of yours I could wear - or even carry to remember you. But, I know you'll be there. And I don't think a Bert and Ernie puzzle has any place in a wedding. It's not worth the fight to me. I'd love something more, but even the puzzle reminds me of the night I threw a fit because I had so much fun putting all 6 pieces in that puzzle, and then I remember the look on your face as you loaded it into a plastic sack for me to take home with me. The point is - it's not about the stuff. It's about the fact that not one of your kids misses you more than another. Not one of your kids deserves more than another. And each and every one of them should be able to sit in a room together and act like adults and make decisions with everyone's thoughts and feelings in mind. None of them are free of fault and I wish they could see that nobody is going to win because holding grudges, and refusing explainations, pointing fingers and trying to come out as being the one who is "right" is not going to get them to you any sooner. I said it before and I'll say it again, I would love to have something of yours. So that everyday when I miss you because I walked into a room that smelled like you, or helped a cancer patient at work, I'd have something to remember you by. But what's more important to me is that I knew the day you died that you were proud of me, I knew the day I met Casey that it was because of you and I know if I could refrain from swearing in traffic I'd be deserving of banana bread.

I want your kids to have a relatinship like my brother and I have - but I know that's unlikely. But it's not out of reach for them to find a way to respect each other. I'm sure heaven and Grandpa keep you busy with cards and spaghetti-o trees...but maybe you could send down a nudge ... for someone to make a phone call or send a letter that might begin some kind of trend of respect or understanding - or for them to talk and for them to listen. So that once and for all, this can be put behind everyone.

I love you...
Kristen

Dear Grandma,
I thought I would make good use of my time at work, now that we staff on the weekends. No matter how unneccessary it is, if it will save Alegent a penny, it's worth it to them to take up our time with families even more than the pager did. Am I happy to have a job? Yes. Am I bitter that I work for a faith based hospital that cares about nothing but money? Absolutely.

For the most part, it has been a good weekend. Friday night Casey and I bit hard on the fact that we have become boring adults when we found ourselves on the couch watching back to back episodes of House Hunters on HGTV. I'm not even ashamed to say that most nights I would rather come home and jump in sweats than go out somewhere. We did go out for supper though - and by "go out" I mean went through the drive through, and by "supper" I mean...Taco Bell. But whatever, we were both home and together, so it was just perfect. Saturday we tried to get some things done in the morning as we knew Casey would be called to the tracks. Around 4 we headed to Bekka and Brian's to see Baby Henry and say hello to The Renshaws and Sarah who had driven down for the day. It was a nice mellow afternoon followed by a meal (compliments of Chef Brian) so delicious I should have worn sweatpants.

I had a hard time sleeping last night, so 630 came far too early. Hopefully I'll get a chance to enjoy the beautiful weather once I'm off work, there's no saying the snow won't fall next week! Oh well...let's get to it, the closer we are to getting through another season, the closer we are to October 2011. =)

Love you,
Kristen

Dear Grandma,

I can't believe it's been so long since I've written. The summer has been one of the busiest to date and although it's kind of a relief to see it winding down, I know that means it's only a matter of time before we're shoveling snow and scraping windows. Last winter was a difficult one, earth shattering snow storms every 7 days, kidney stones and stents, missing Christmas to be on call and recover from kidney stones and stents. ... it was also one of the greatest winters of my life. I learned quickly that a guy - who will drive across the city to shovel waist deep snow at 3 am after spending the whole night on a train, and one the spends days in a hospital calling updates to a family he had yet to meet - was definitely a keeper. In a years time I went from being a girl who was happy being single to meeting someone who changed my life so much that I can't imagine my a day without him. So, if you must, bring on the winter...maybe it won't be so bad afterall.



Now that fall has arrived, we've been spending a lot of time in sweatshirts, watching Husker football and making plans for a wedding that will be exactly one year away this weekend. It seems so far away to me yet, but even the few months that have passed since we've been engaged have gone so fast! We're both very excited for the weekend, our parents and most of my bridesmaids (including one very awesome maid of honor and sister in law, Tonya) are coming to Omaha. Saturday will be full of wedding dress shopping for the girls - and well - boy stuff for the boys. I'm excited for everyone to meet and for the wedding to become more real - but also very overwhelmed, too. Either way, I just know it will be a great weekend.



My mom and I went to "Women of Faith" with another mom and daughter about a couple months ago in Omaha. It was awesome. Thanks for giving me the nudge to sponsor little miss Telma. I know you still get these letters, but it's great to sit down with a pen and paper again, hopefully she'll enjoy having a penpal as much as I always have. ...hopefully I can make some kind of difference in her life, if even just a small one.



I miss you. I hope you have a minute this Saturday to stop in while we're hunting for the most important dress I'll ever have in my life. It's a day I want all the most important women in my life to spend with me, see if Grandpa will let you get away for a few hours (or just sneak out during his nap). =)



Love you,

Krsiten

Dear Grandma,

Time seems to get away from me this summer, it's been one of the busiest few months I can remember this far! Since I talked to you last, a lot has happened. Of course the biggest, most exciting of these things you already know, as I'm completely certain you had a hand in it. But on a humid Saturday in Illinios Casey gave me a ring and I gave him my word...and I've never been more certain of an answer or more thankful for the happiness that lies ahead.



We have reserved October 1, 2011 the day we document our promise and the day I change my last name - the day we've reserved to be the best day of our lives. I dream of it often, but I'm sure no dream will ever compare to how wonderful everything turns out to be. I pray everything comes together and we are surrounded by all the people that mean so much to us, and I have faith that it will. Thank you Grandma, you couldn't have picked someone more perfect for me. I just hope I can live up to the expectations that go along with the name "wife",but I have watched a lot of great examples so I pray it comes naturally because he deserves the very best. Like I said in the letter I wrote you over a year ago, I hope you'll be there, and I hope you DO have the best seat in the house. I wasn't sure this day would ever come, and it's hard to imagine you wouldn't be there. So, please, be there, every step of the way.



This past weekend took Casey and I back to a place we spend some of the early days of our relationship. .. the ER. My kidneys had a tanrtum yet again and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't hand the pain. I've spend nearly a week trying to recover - again. This morning was different. I was tired of going to bed praying that tomorrow would be better, so when I woke up I made certain it would be. I got myself on my feet no matter how unsteady I felt and kept myself there. I feel much better and hope I continue to feel better.



A busy summer is no excuse for me not to write every week as I'd like to, but know I think of you more often than I could ever explain on paper. I love you.



Love, Kristen

Dear Grandma,
I can't believe it's been a month since I've written...it's hard to believe the 4th of July has passed and the summer is already on the downhill. This has probably been one of my busiest summers and it's hard to even rememeber what I've been up to. I remember facing June knowing that it was going to be exhausting, it was, and it's already over! I just finished 8 days of call and am looking forward to having the next couple weeks off.

Life continues to present with new direction. My roomate Abby, who is getting married in September, was finally able to find a job in South Dakota (which is quite the feat in the ultrasound world) and will be moving out the end of the week. So, after nearly 4 years living in the very same duplex on Franklin St. I, too, will be moving out and moving on. But we aren't walking away without a farewell, this weekend we're having a going away party for Abby as well as a "farewell to Franklin St." My old roomates Jess, Justin and Korynn are all coming and we're going to spend one last night in the place so we've all called home for so long. It's bittersweet; I've loved living there and it's been good to me, but like everything else, there is a time to move on and that time has come.

We're anxiously awaiting a trip to Illinois in two weeks to visit Jason, Tina, and Hannah. Tom and Pat are meeting us there and Tom has warned that he has a list of questions for Casey. Hopefully he is up to the challenge, but I don't have any doubts. It will be good for both of us to have a weekend out of Omaha. He finally has his normal job back which has meant he has been working lots of long trips, middle of the nights and weekends. Between my call and his late train trips, we should be keeping Dunkin Doughnuts coffee in business.

We've had two kinds of weather this summer in Omaha. Stale, nasty, "change your clothes in the middle of the afternoon" heat and humidity - or - rain. I like a rainy day here and then but we haven't been offered much variety. It either rains for a week straight or smokes us out for a week straight. It's certainly annoying but at least it doesn't require me to have to schovel the driveway.

As I have been organizing to move, I have found NUMEROUS cards and notes in your perftectly impossible handwriting. I'm not the type to have shoe boxes full of cards and letters with the exception of some that hold meaning, but I couldn't bear to part with one of these hardcopies of your penmanship. So, I tucked them in the folder of cards you had saved for me and put them safely in my curio cabinet where they will likely remain until the next time I move. ...at which point I will probably repeat this whole scenario.

Miss you still, everyday.
Love,
Kristen

Dear Grandma,

It's been so long since I have written but with as busy as the summer has already kept me - it's no surprise, really. Nonetheless, I'm sorry. Today I'm sitting at the Office and I'm hoping today remains as mellow as the morning has been. The last two Tuesdays I have been over here and ran my little caboose off the whole day. .

Casey and I made it to Florida back and if it weren't for the heat, I probably would have stayed there forever! From the second our feet hit the ground in Orlando until the minute we were climbing in the airplane to come home, we were busy. I met Minnie Mouse, went to a baseball game, the beach, the shopping centers...we were very busy! My favorite part of the whole trip was the night we spent walking the streets of Universal Studios. All in all, the vacation couldn't have been better and I was happy to meet another member of Casey's family!

Today I am back to work from the mini vacation mom and I took to the Hills. The BLACK hills, of course, not Hollywood. When I ran the marathon, mom and I promised we would hike Crazy Horse monument in the Volks March. We did it, and my instincts tell me we'll do it again! It was a lot of fun! We headed back to Parkston on Sunday with heavy eyes and a case of wine from Prairie berry. But, all the sleepiness in the world couldn't have kept me from my first motorcycle ride of the season, especially on the new bike! It was a nice evening, so dad and I decided we were finally ready to head to Armour and check out your house...boy has it changed. Dad told me it's a couple and a brand new little baby, and somehow, that makes me feel better. I just hope they are able to find all the Easter egg hiding places. I also hope that pantry keeps all our secrets and has a full stock of Spaghettio O's. I have faith it will.

I'm back in Omaha now and am gearing up for the week of call I am facing. Like I always do when I am carrying my pager, I am looking forward to next Monday morning when it has ended. Next weekend I head to Vegas for Becky Murtha's bachelorette party, and then, hopefully, I will have a couple weeks free from plans. June will be over before we know it.

I will be better about finding time to write, I'm hoping things will settle down for awhile. I miss you.

Love you,
Kristen

Dear Grandma,


I did it. 26.2 miles on foot. 4 hours 33 minutes and 28 seconds. Running all the while. It's an expericene I will never forget, one I will hold as a very proud moment forever, but also one I never plan to experience again. Don't get me wrong, it was a lot of fun and something I felt so proud to be a part of. 8 thousand people gathered to run, only 1300 of whom finished the full marathon. .. and I was one of those rare people. Although I prepared for 15 weeks for this day, there are definitely some factors that made it possible to complete. I didn't realize how important my family would be, it was my driving force to keep me going. As soon as I ran past them and their cheers faded away I would make a mental note of how far I would have to run before I would see them again. Every 2-3 miles we were given a break with water, ice or gatorade...or all three once I had gotten through 21 miles. And lastly, the NUMEROUS people over the age of 60 who were still making their way to the halway point as we were tackling our last six miles. I cheered on one man who told us he was 83 years old and was completing his 70th marathon. Even though the last 6 miles were a struggle I will never be able to explain, but people like this man gave me the encouragement to keep pushing forward.

Casey was the biggest help this weekend. My roomates were both having company, so he opened his house to my whole family. He made sure everyone got where they needed to be on time. He even helped my friend Blair so that she and her two little girls could come along, too. At the six mile point, he was running right beside me with a bag full of towels, back up music, and electrolytes. He knew how important this race was, how hard I had worked for it, and he was going to do whatever he could to make sure I made it to that 50 yard line. And. I. Did.

My vow to "never run another marathon" is already beginning to subside. It's amazing how quickly you forget the pain and remember only how fun it was or the way an accomplishment like this feels. I'll continue to run short races and half marathons for sure...they're just another day now, but if the day ever does come that I brave the "big one" again, it will likely be years down the road.



Miss Hannah turns two this weekend. My family is headed that way and although I want nothing more than to be there I am not able to get out of work on Friday and they are leaving Thursday. Once again, the real world gets in the way. You wouldn't believe the little character she has become. She definitely has figured out what it takes to melt the hearts of everyone and I would literally do anything for her.



Thank you for helping me live a dream ... for getting me through that finish line. It was so much more than making my legs move for 26.2 miles. It was keeping my head in the right place for 4 and a half hours. .. and for making me believe in myself to do something I never thought I was capable of doing, and now, I feel like I could fly!



I love you,

Kristen