Dear Grandma,
This is it. My family is on their way for an event I have been preparing for for nearly 4 months. Please Please Please help me get to that finish line.
Love you,
Kristen
Ps, Trust me...I'll be repeating "tomorrow will be better" over and over again.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Dear Grandma,
Ready or not, I'm 4 days away from probably one of the greatest physical struggles I will ever voluntarily undergo. I can only hope that I've done everything I can to prepare for this - but the anxiety I feel is much like that I felt when I was preparing for boards. I've done all I can do - now all that's left is to dive in and hope the outcome is what I've dreamed it would be. Last week was filled with nothing but fear. This week, the thought of all my supporters has brought me excitement. But then, I thnk about being at about the point in the race when the half marthon runners split - when they seperate the sane from the insane - and everything in my belly drops to my feet. Not literally - well, yet. You've gotten me through a lot of long runs while I've been training, but this race is ten miles more than I've ever done. So please, please Grandma, don't give up on me now!
I'm looking foward to all the Pape's coming this weekend. Since my roomate and her fiance are running the half marathon (they have their head on a little straighter than I do) and my other roomate will have company as well, we're all going to stay with Casey in his new house for the weekend. It was his idea, so, I hope he knows what he's getting himself into. =) I don't see my family as much as I used to, and definitely not as often as I'd like to, so knowing we're all going to be under one roof is a big relief. Miss Hannah's 2nd birthday is coming up, and since I'm not sure that I'll be able to make it there because of work, we're going to do some mini celebrating for her. My friend Blair has a little girl who is a month older than Hannah, we're hoping they can have a lot of fun together. But they're both 2 - so we'll see.
This month is going to be a busy one. Once I get through this weekend I have a pretty big stretch of call and then at the end of the month, Casey and I are going to Florida to visit his sister. I've never been to Florida, so I'm definitely looking foward to just having the chance to travel there. I'm mostly looking foward to getting on an airplane and leaving Nebraska for a few days to do somewhere and spend some time on a beach.
We've been having some pretty nice weather here with the exception of a few chilly, windy, rainy days. I hope you're getting that out of your system so that Sunday we have clear skies and a nice (but fairly still) breeze. Please Grandma, I need all the help I can get!
I love you,
Kristen
Ready or not, I'm 4 days away from probably one of the greatest physical struggles I will ever voluntarily undergo. I can only hope that I've done everything I can to prepare for this - but the anxiety I feel is much like that I felt when I was preparing for boards. I've done all I can do - now all that's left is to dive in and hope the outcome is what I've dreamed it would be. Last week was filled with nothing but fear. This week, the thought of all my supporters has brought me excitement. But then, I thnk about being at about the point in the race when the half marthon runners split - when they seperate the sane from the insane - and everything in my belly drops to my feet. Not literally - well, yet. You've gotten me through a lot of long runs while I've been training, but this race is ten miles more than I've ever done. So please, please Grandma, don't give up on me now!
I'm looking foward to all the Pape's coming this weekend. Since my roomate and her fiance are running the half marathon (they have their head on a little straighter than I do) and my other roomate will have company as well, we're all going to stay with Casey in his new house for the weekend. It was his idea, so, I hope he knows what he's getting himself into. =) I don't see my family as much as I used to, and definitely not as often as I'd like to, so knowing we're all going to be under one roof is a big relief. Miss Hannah's 2nd birthday is coming up, and since I'm not sure that I'll be able to make it there because of work, we're going to do some mini celebrating for her. My friend Blair has a little girl who is a month older than Hannah, we're hoping they can have a lot of fun together. But they're both 2 - so we'll see.
This month is going to be a busy one. Once I get through this weekend I have a pretty big stretch of call and then at the end of the month, Casey and I are going to Florida to visit his sister. I've never been to Florida, so I'm definitely looking foward to just having the chance to travel there. I'm mostly looking foward to getting on an airplane and leaving Nebraska for a few days to do somewhere and spend some time on a beach.
We've been having some pretty nice weather here with the exception of a few chilly, windy, rainy days. I hope you're getting that out of your system so that Sunday we have clear skies and a nice (but fairly still) breeze. Please Grandma, I need all the help I can get!
I love you,
Kristen
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Dear Grandma,
In the mail last night from Mary I got an article that the girls had put in the paper about you. It was the poem you kept in your wallet:
And the mother said, "I have reached the end of my journey and now I know the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk alone, and their children after them."
And the children said "You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates."
And they stood and watched her as she walked on alone, and the gates closed after her. And they said, "We cannot see her, but she is with us still. A mother like ours is more than a memory; she is a living presence."
...And so I stood at the kitchen counter and cried like it was the first time I realized you were gone. I got to thinking about how much I hate it still and how it's not fair that at 24 I am without grandparents, and how much it sucks not having you here. I'm sorry if that keeps me from getting banana bread, but it's true. I'm angry that people have to get sick, I hate that there is a such thing as cancer and that nearly every person I have lost in my life has fought that battle. People are suppose to die because they're old, warm in their bed. Which is exactly what happens to a lot of people who don't take care of their bodies, and their families and take every wonderful thing about life for granted. But the rare, wonderful people who take each day as a blessing die sitting in a hospital talking about cancer markers and tumors and chemo.
...and I'm sure after reading that paragraph you just say "Welllllll...."
I hope you know the difference you've made in my life and the millions of times I turn to you in a day without even realizing it. You've gotten me through a lot, probably more now than when you were around. I regret every second I ever took you for granted but I thank you for making me who I am.
I love you,
Kristen
In the mail last night from Mary I got an article that the girls had put in the paper about you. It was the poem you kept in your wallet:
And the mother said, "I have reached the end of my journey and now I know the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk alone, and their children after them."
And the children said "You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates."
And they stood and watched her as she walked on alone, and the gates closed after her. And they said, "We cannot see her, but she is with us still. A mother like ours is more than a memory; she is a living presence."
...And so I stood at the kitchen counter and cried like it was the first time I realized you were gone. I got to thinking about how much I hate it still and how it's not fair that at 24 I am without grandparents, and how much it sucks not having you here. I'm sorry if that keeps me from getting banana bread, but it's true. I'm angry that people have to get sick, I hate that there is a such thing as cancer and that nearly every person I have lost in my life has fought that battle. People are suppose to die because they're old, warm in their bed. Which is exactly what happens to a lot of people who don't take care of their bodies, and their families and take every wonderful thing about life for granted. But the rare, wonderful people who take each day as a blessing die sitting in a hospital talking about cancer markers and tumors and chemo.
...and I'm sure after reading that paragraph you just say "Welllllll...."
I hope you know the difference you've made in my life and the millions of times I turn to you in a day without even realizing it. You've gotten me through a lot, probably more now than when you were around. I regret every second I ever took you for granted but I thank you for making me who I am.
I love you,
Kristen
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Dear Grandma,
I guess it's been a frusterating couple weeks and I kind of have the blues. Maybe it's just because I've overwhelmed with the marathon knowing I have so much going on in the next couple months - most of which I should be excited about. Either way I am trying to keep my head on straight and keep my eye on the prize - the finish on the 50 yard line in the Husker stadium.
The summer is quickly approaching and filling up even faster. Florida, Hannah's second birthday, weddings and all the in-betweens. By the time I put everything on the schedule and fill in the cracks with call, there isn't much time to plan all the things we "just have to do this summer." No wonder some of those things never happen. I have a closet full of clothes that will probably get worn once if I'm lucky because anytime I'm not wearing scrubs I prefer my cozies.
Easter was really weird without you this year. I think it's the first time I haven't been home for Easter let alone getting eggs out of the gutter, the tree, ....that mailbox at your front door...the trees in the backyard. I can only imagine your Easter was all you had ever hoped for...and more.
I scanned a patient today that reminded me a lot of Grandpa, although I don't know what it was. Most of it was probably the way he visited with his friend and the way he talked to me. It was a comfort and I wanted to take better care of him than any other patient in that hospital. The 20 minutes I was with him changed my perception of the day completely.
I hope all is well with you, thank you so much for the nice weather - if anything it has made these runs much more tolerable (although I could do without the drizzly and/or windy days). Thanks for getting me through the last couple miles when we ran last Thursday. I didn't understand at the time why you weren't making it easier, but I finished, so you obviously did just what I asked you to. Thank you.
I love you,
Kristen
I guess it's been a frusterating couple weeks and I kind of have the blues. Maybe it's just because I've overwhelmed with the marathon knowing I have so much going on in the next couple months - most of which I should be excited about. Either way I am trying to keep my head on straight and keep my eye on the prize - the finish on the 50 yard line in the Husker stadium.
The summer is quickly approaching and filling up even faster. Florida, Hannah's second birthday, weddings and all the in-betweens. By the time I put everything on the schedule and fill in the cracks with call, there isn't much time to plan all the things we "just have to do this summer." No wonder some of those things never happen. I have a closet full of clothes that will probably get worn once if I'm lucky because anytime I'm not wearing scrubs I prefer my cozies.
Easter was really weird without you this year. I think it's the first time I haven't been home for Easter let alone getting eggs out of the gutter, the tree, ....that mailbox at your front door...the trees in the backyard. I can only imagine your Easter was all you had ever hoped for...and more.
I scanned a patient today that reminded me a lot of Grandpa, although I don't know what it was. Most of it was probably the way he visited with his friend and the way he talked to me. It was a comfort and I wanted to take better care of him than any other patient in that hospital. The 20 minutes I was with him changed my perception of the day completely.
I hope all is well with you, thank you so much for the nice weather - if anything it has made these runs much more tolerable (although I could do without the drizzly and/or windy days). Thanks for getting me through the last couple miles when we ran last Thursday. I didn't understand at the time why you weren't making it easier, but I finished, so you obviously did just what I asked you to. Thank you.
I love you,
Kristen
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