Dear Grandma,


It's a snowy, icy morning in Omaha. Work isn't busy (yet), so I thought - what better way to spend the morning than paying bills and writing you a little note. I'd imagine your weather up there doesn't even compare to what we're having, I'm sure it's better than it would be if you were still in Armour. Monday started out rough too, nothing starts out the week like a four car accident on the expressway. This morning driving was a little easier, if you can find a way to dodge the people who lose all concept of driving when any kind of weather condition presents. Casey is doing some of his management training at UNO this week which means he doesn't have to go to work if schools are canceled. A rare shot at a snow day and he missed it - it seems UNO is the only school NOT closed today. If only we could be kids again.

Casey and I had a pretty mellow weekend. We didn't really do much because we were planning on something that never was. For what it's worth, I certainly tried. But the point was made blatantly clear and after what were probably some unneccessary tears I've learned it's not really my problem and I need to stop wasting time worrying about it. It's hard, but when I have so many other wonderful things and people in my life it seems only right to focus on them instead. But Grandma, I tried, I promise I did. I miss you every day, but certain things make me miss you more, and this was definitely one of them. Casey and I talked about you a lot. I sure wish he could have met you, but I do my best to keep you with us as much as I can.

This week will probably be a busy one, but that's ok. I'm on call for the weekend so I'm already looking forward to the following Monday when it's all over. Jason and his two girls are coming our way the weekend after, so we'll have a lot to look forward to next week. Tonya and I are planning to stop by the hospital and take a peak at Baby Blue. I'm sure he's filling up his room much more than he was over Christmas. I sure do wish they lived closer, but I should appreciate the six hours while we have it, Lord only knows where Casey's new job might take us. Bring it on, whatever it is, we're ready...a little anxiuos and sometimes worried, but ready. Maybe if we're lucky, the railroad will relocate us closer to them.

We were cleaning the other day and found the box of letters you saved for me and the cards I saved from you. I reminisced on the times I talked of in my letters and squinted through your letters and cards. I wish things were still that way. I realize that having a box filled with your handwriting is a greater treasure than anything else. It's something I will cherish forever. I have a blanket that we gave to you that I keep folded in the bottom of that box. Somehow, I hope if I keep it folded tight it will hang onto that tiny little smell just a bit longer.

Eight months from today I'll be standing in a church wearing a dress to change my name. When mom and I met with the flourist a few weeks ago the gal ran down lists of important people for the day, and family. It wasn't until I said it outloud that I realized i will have no living grandparents on my wedding day. Boy, that sure did put a pit in my stomach. I sure do hope you'll all have time to stop in.

There is something else important about today. It's Grandma Weisser's birthday. You probably already know that, I'd imagine she is already hard at work on a 9 course meal. If she made Kuchen, eat some for me...nobody down here made it quite like she did. Please wish her a happy birthday from Casey and I, and make her laugh today. She had the best laugh.

Miss you everyday,

Love,

Kristen

Good Morning Grandma,

Well, here we are; 2011. The year I'll write something different at the end of my name, the year "mine" will officially become "ours", the year you were certain you'd be here for. And you're not, and even though that's ok, I still wish things were different. You were the only one who thought it was ok that I didn't come home every holiday with a boyfriend until I figured some things out, and who, all in the same thought, was sure I'd be walking down an aisle someday. I was a little bitter over the holidays this year. I don't understand why most people my age have grandparents, sometimes all of them, sometimes even GREAT grandparents. By the time I was a freshman in high school I was hanging on tight to the letters I got from my one and only grandparent, you. Now, not yet 25, I have none. I sure hope those people out there who are complaining because they have four Christmases to go to in one day realize just how lucky they are. I wish I could divide my time between nut pudding and phase 10.

But 2011 is going to be great. I can't control a lot of things. I won't be able to help it if my kidneys make me sick, or if work gets unbearably busy or unbearably slow. Or if stubborn people holding on to grudges can't find a way to come around. But I can make the best of everything. Things don't always fall into place or happen when I want them to, and people don't always treat each other the way God intended them to. But I'm one very lucky girl. I just hope everyone takes a minute to think about what they're lucky for in their life and quit wasting time on things that aren't important. Don't think we haven't noticed, Grandma, some of the changes you're making happen down here. We need a few more nudges in a few more places, but oh what a difference it's made.

I can't wait to see what 2011 has in store and I already know it's going to go fast. I better make it count because once it's over I can't get it back. I'm sure it will be filled with memories of you and days I still don't quite understand why you're up there ... but I sure do wonder what the Papes and Weissers are doing up in heaven.

Love you
Miss you everyday,
Kristen